Sunday, September 4, 2011

Old Patrick Dreams - pt 1

In the Forest


This is a dream I had a while back. I completely dismissed it because it had some silliness in it. But after a few weeks it dawned on me that maybe the silliness in the dream WAS the actual message.

I was inside a building and I went outside. It was nighttime. Very, very dark and I was in a forest. It may have been a little foggy, too, but I do remember it being a very dark forest. Off in the distance I could see a white horse galloping away. A man was on this horse, and it was Patrick. I tried calling after him so that I could FINALLY get some answers as to who he is. No matter how loud I screamed, he kept galloping further away. I couldn’t understand why he was running away either. (Or perhaps he was trying to get me to follow him? But... you try chasing after a man on a galloping horse, in a dark forest and with only your 2 legs to carry you. Lol!) Anyway, he was determined that I not catch up to him. While I was trying to get him to stop, I noticed that an actress from a tv sitcom was outside with me. She was also shouting for Patrick. Just the fact that an actress was in my dream made me brush it off as not being a message of any sort from Patrick.

However--- at work one day I decided to go ahead and write down the dream anyway. When doing this, I realized that the name of the sitcom that actress stars in is called "King of Queens."

Maybe there was a message there after all. The 'silliness' in the dream was in fact the message. All these years my family has always called Patrick "the Knight." But what if he was trying to tell me in the dream that he was not once a knight, but of royalty; hence the reference to “King of Queens.” All I know is that royalty was in his family for sure. (Patrick dresses like quite the dandy fellow. Very ornamental clothing which is very formal. Very “fru-fru” if you will).

Note: This is also a dream my friend had before we met. Only replace the rider with someone else. Odd, huh? There were a lot of coincidences like this that happened b/w us.

This is another dream I had not long before, or after, the dream listed above. I was sitting with my sister, next to an indoor pond. Small plants were everywhere. My sister showed me a facial expression Patrick used to have. (I don't think I really saw it, even in the dream. I just think it was some sort of serious look. Nothing noteworthy, really). Then I looked down and saw that one of the little plants beside us had PLAID on it. It was as if a light with a plaid pattern was shining on it. I immediately knew that it meant that Patrick was actually Scottish, and not Irish as one would naturally presume; given his name. My sister looked at the plant and told me that it meant he was in mourning.

Okay, so I have no idea what that was about but I refuse to be close-minded about anything that comes through about him. Maybe it will make sense to me someday.

8-13-08 Update: I feel like a complete idiot for not having wondered this years ago, but it just now dawned on me that perhaps he was trying to tell me that he was mourning over Scotland. He must have fought for Scotland's freedom; Culloden or something similar? I really feel stupid now. It's so obvious what this dream meant. I remember that the day I wrote this down, I really didn't give it much thought. I just recorded it, then moved on.

I probably should also mention something I didn't when I wrote down this dream. The setting GREATLY looked like the Commons Area of my college. It was one of the San Jacinto Colleges, and now I'm thinking that that right there might have been noteworthy. WHY, you ask? Ever hear of the Battle of San Jacinto?


This is a short dream I had in late 2004 or early 2005, which I had originally brushed off as imagination. It was basically just seeing a scene. No talking or anything was in it; as are all my past life dreams.

I was in some room with Patrick. It was like a small cottage not connected to anything. The ceilings weren’t too tall and the room was all wood. There were red curtains around a fancy bed and the bedding was red, too. There may have been gold tassels on the bed curtains and I think the bed was on a small platform? I seem to recall the colors in this dream being a bit vivid, even though the room was lit by candlelight.

(It was daylight, too. There was one very small ‘window’ in the room, which was closed).

There was lots of noise outside. A lot of commotion. We were standing a few feet from one another, each of us standing on our own opposite sides of the room; myself by the bed and him by the door. I remember there being a lot of tension in the room. I had decided then and there that we were being ridiculous and that this stupid game of ours needed to end. That we needed to admit that we had feelings for one another. In this dream, I was MAD for him. I'm talking madly in love. I remember feeling like he was determined to keep strict control of his emotions - even the distance between us - but that for the first time I was no longer going to hide my feelings.


Castle Tower

This was like a picture an artist painted from high up in a castle. It was of the street below. The buildings were all made of a porous, light brown stone. Along the sandy walk I saw several ladies wearing those tall hats with the veils on them. They wore dark blue dresses. The window in the castle was nothing but a hole carved in the wall.

Once a warrior, always a warrior
A gang was coming up to me, pointing a gun at me. I just ignored them, thinking they just might go away if I wouldn't pay them any mind. They followed me, and when I finally turned to face them, their eyes grew HUGE. I knew they were frightened b/c they were seeing a ghost standing behind me; Patrick. I've always thought that was a little strange.



This dream was like seeing an impressionistic painting. (A lot of my Renaissance dreams are like that). I was in a field out in the middle of nowhere. Trees were far off in the distance. I saw many white tents with red insignias on top. In front of one of these tents I saw Patrick in his human form. His clothes were red and white. He was sitting on top a white horse that was reared high up on its hind legs. He held his sword high in the air and was yelling. A battle was starting, and he was the leader. I hid inside a small tent, knowing that if he found me I’d be dead for sure. I was TERRIFIED of him and thought him very evil. The tent I was in was more like a large sheet which covered stacks of furniture; stools and other stuff. All the furniture was kind of small. The rest of the dream was hiding inside this tent.

I have an expanded, more vivid memory of this dream. Only, I’m not sure it was remembering more of the dream, my subconscious remembering what really happened, or imagination. It was very vivid though. Basically, the battle began and I ran like mad to safety. I pulled an older woman, with black hair pulled up in a bun, with me inside a tent with furniture inside. I remember a wooden cupboard and block table. The furniture was very low and there wasn't anything large enough to hide inside, so the woman and I just dropped to our knees and tried to pray. This woman was my handmaiden. Her dress was dark burgundy and very heavy. It had water spots on it; little darkened black spots on certain parts of her skirt. We were so TERRIFIED of this Knight/whoever finding us. We just hid there without making a sound. I knew that if he found me, I’d be dead. That would be the end. I really cannot express just how certain I was that if he found us we would die.  To me, that was a FACT.  If we were found, we would be killed... period. There was absolutely no hope for escape or that our lives would be spared. Our fate that we'd be killed was set in stone. Finally, the tent flap was brushed aside. The Knight silently peered his head inside. His eyes latched onto mine, and I think he sort of pursed his lips. He didn’t utter one word. Neither of us did. He only stared back at me, silently, and with these huge eyes; a lot like I saw in real life when 7, only they didn’t glow in the dream. I was so afraid of him that I remember his energy not even feeling human.  It felt like he was some wild, untamed savage beast or something, and that that silence of his as he peered his head inside that tent and looked straight back at me... well to this day it feels frightening.  That thick silence and that intense stare was like facing a nightmare. I was so, so scared! This dream/memory was VERY VIVID and felt very real. I still remember waking up from this dream.  When I woke up I was actually pissed off.  I was just so confused because in this dream he might as well have been the devil himself, yet when I saw his spirit when I was a child, I know he wasn't like that. Terrifying as that childhood experience was, I now know that smoothing the covers at my feet was a loving gesture.  He was looking out for me and my sister, making sure were were comfortable and warm.  I actually remember thinking, immediately after I woke up, that this dream was like Patrick having an evil twin or something.  Lol!  It just didn't make sense to me b/c my God I was PETRIFIED OUT OF MY MIND in that dream. My mother tells me that maybe I took the evil feelings away in this dream b/c I was really afraid of the violence surrounding me, and just assumed he was out to do harm towards me.

UPDATE: I discovered that this might not just be a PL memory, but Patrick formulating the dream himself. He was trying to let me know that he will always protect me. I also just read by accident (May '07) that in that dream I was telling myself to calm down b/c it was only a dream and I was safe. And I'm now thinking - years later - that maybe the insignias on the tents were the rampant lion?


Rock Building

This one is sort of embarrassing. I wore a very fancy, pale yellow colored dress. It glittered a bit and trailed behind me. The sleeves were long and very tight. The entire dress was tight fitting. I was tall and had strawberry blonde hair. My hair was long, wavy and worn down. I was very pale skinned. I was walking in a clearing beside the woods. The trees were very skinny and tall. Tucked in front of where a tree line began, was a rock building. It was low and made of dark gray rock. I went inside. I saw a few small windows that were just cut-outs in the walls, and rows and rows of stone toilets! There was just one lady sitting in a throne/chair in the very back of the room. It was as if her job was to look after people in there. (Like how in fancy restaurants nowadays, you have people hand you towels, etc.) In this dream, I decided to high tail it out of there asap! There was no way I was going in there when another person was present!

  Space Dream

This was a rather strange dream; this one was set in space. It was just seeing a ‘picture’ of a scene, and I’ve dreamt it 2 or 3 times that I can recall. I’ve always suspected the man in the dream was Patrick…. but didn’t think much on that since Patrick was just a huge mystery to me back then. He was just “the ghost” or “the knight” to me. And since I remembered this dream and decided to look it up in my old journal this week, it reminded me of how in that automatic writing Patrick mentioned he and I “looking up at the Heavens and wondering at them.” And then there’s that beautiful swans/stars dream that I also had years ago, which I now KNOW was a gift from Patrick. (I'll mention the stars/swans dream and the AW later). But this ‘space dream’ as I always used to call it is starting to make sense now I think. (That is, if “looking up at the Heavens” was a favorite past time of ours). Here’s the dream:

All it was was seeing a house of sorts floating in space, and a VERY tall man standing in front of it. He had blonde hair and was very muscular. He had a sword raised above his head and just stared straight ahead with this serious, blank expression on his face. His eyes were definitely Patrick’s eyes. (I can say that with certainty these days now that I’ve had a couple dreams recently where I’ve seen his eyes up close). They had that sort of ‘wild’ look to them; you know, where even the whites of his eyes are prominent. (By the way… the best way I can describe Patrick is to describe He-Man. Lol! That’s right. He-Man from the 80’s cartoon series). Anyway, the ‘house’ looming behind him was made of steel. He was standing on the ‘patio’ I guess you could call it, though it really looked like a stage. I even remember there being bright white lights on the edge of this patio/stage. They were round and just lined the edge.



I’ve had only one or two waking visions in my life, which is surprising. They just came so out-of-the-blue. I wasn’t even really into the paranormal when I had my first vision, and I certainly didn’t believe in past lives:

My first vision was of a peasant lady outside. She was peering behind her shoulder, as if making sure no one was around to see what she was about to do. It actually looked like she was about to scale a castle turret in the middle of the night! (I imagine that she was really waiting for someone to thrown down a rope of some kind for her to climb up).

The rest of the 'picture' I saw was this—
Torches on the castle, very green grass, and a very dark night. No trees were around the castle. (Later, my mother told me that would be common back then for defense purposes). I saw a woman wearing a thin, sleeveless white gauzy slip of sorts with her dark black hair in total disarray. She was also very dirty, emaciated and had dark circles under her eyes. She was looking over her shoulder to make sure no one saw her. She was definitely trying to sneak her way in.

A few years later I brought it up again, and Mom just casually said that maybe she was sneaking in the castle that night to see her baby that was taken away from her. She believes the woman was trying to get her baby back. She says she feels like the Queen's child died at childbirth. The Queen was so distressed that they replaced her child with a peasant's baby that had just been born around the same time.

Fast forward about a year later— My aunt (with no foreknowledge of my vision) told my mother that she had had a strange dream when a teenager. She dreamt that she was sneaking inside a castle to steal back her babies (twins) that were taken from her and given to the queen. She was walking up some spiraling steps, her hand touching the wall on the way up. (She says the castle walls were very cold). She looked back to find someone following her. She said they were very evil and I believe she said that they killed her?

So I thought Mom’s guess of my vision matching a dream my aunt had a bit strange/interesting.

Also, Mom thinks the queen was so upset over her baby's death that she was beginning to lose her mind, and so she eventually believed them when they lied to her... saying that they were mistaken and her baby really is alive. And Mom/my Aunt/whomever was sneaking inside the castle to take back what was theirs; their baby that was taken away.


Gerry Butler/Patrick Dream

It was nighttime and I was walking along a sidewalk outside a strip of shopping centers. I saw Gerry walking towards me, but knew he’d never stop for me. But once he did reach me, he pivoted and began walking with me. I wrapped my arm around his waist, and he wrapped his around my shoulder I think. He never spoke a word. Just smiled down at me. When I looked up into his face I knew he wasn’t really Gerry, but Patrick. I could tell by the eyes. Also, his smile was very "unearthly" you might say. Very serene and otherworldly. The best way I can describe it is like "Faramir" in the Houses of Healing scene in the movie “Return of the King,” when he sees Eowyn for the first time. The smile was sort of ‘haunting’ – pardon the pun.

I looked up at him and couldn’t help but tell him that he had “THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BLUE EYES.”

After that, we walked inside a Target store. I know it was a Target because the counters were red. Once we entered the store, he immediately separated from me. “Gerry” ambled directly to a cashier to pay for something. (What, I’m not sure seeing as I never saw the man shop for anything. I didn’t even see an item in his hand).

End Dream.

*~* 2 days later I visited GB’s website. I normally just check the updates thread. I don’t even open the thread unless it’s been updated, but that day I decided to check all the new posts for a change. One of the first posts was a Phantom of the Opera vid someone did on August 1, 2005. It was updated that day; May 1st one entire year later. It was titled “POTO vid – IF YOU SAY MY EYES ARE BEAUTIFUL.” *~*

How’s THAT for a coincidence?! When I told Mom about the store in my dream being a Target, she instantly said – “Bulls eye.” I never thought of that, but there has to be a reason for the store in the dream being a Target. I guess it just symbolized that I was “right on target” that Gerry in the dream was really Patrick, or that Gerry and Patrick’s personalities are similar. Maybe both.


The 'Staring into my Soul' Dream
(This one really set me in a depression)Photobucket

Ever seen the the tv series, “Christy?” Remember the rugged, Scottish Dr. Neil MacNeill? Well he was in it and in this dream I was mad for the man. I mean I loved him like crazy. In the beginning of the dream it was like watching an old episode of “Christy.” Opal was giddy with happiness as she held her baby in her arms – only she had to be told that that baby wasn’t hers. Her baby was dead.

(Note: This echoes how my aunt and that psychic said something about Patrick and losing children. It also echoed my Mom’s feelings on a vision I had once – which was explained earlier on this website. I’ve always ignored this part of the dream, as it’s possible I was dreaming it b/c of that… although at the time I wasn’t thinking of any of that at all. I also wasn’t watching the “Christy” episodes like I used to. Also… I’ve had another dream before where a lady ghost was crying for her children. So, maybe there’s a message there that’s trying to come through. The lady ghost, by the way, I’ve dreamt about twice now).

Opal screamed and ran into the next room of the cabin to see her child. She was wailing out loud, and near the fireplace across the room was Dr. MacNeill sitting in a chair. His back was facing me and I could clearly hear and see that he was crying because he couldn’t save the baby’s life. I wanted… desperately… to go to him and comfort him, but I knew he wouldn’t be comfortable with that. I had to leave him alone. I forced myself to leave.

(Note: I’ve never told my mother about the first half of this dream, and yet she has said that she thinks Patrick was a tortured soul in his PL – something which, I admit, I am drawn to in this life. [Hence my obsession over Scottish Neil MacNeill from the Christy tv series, Scottish actor Gerry Butler, and Faramir from LOTR]. Mom said she thinks that due to Patrick’s station, he was taught from early childhood to be “above” his emotions. It was all about survival for him and the men he was in charge of. But I find it strange that her feelings echo my dream above. I wanted sooo badly to comfort him, yet knew I couldn’t do that b/c it wasn’t in his experience to be “mollycoddled” through any pain or disappointments).

In the next part of my dream I was with my family in some hospital waiting room. When - finally - he walks in the door, I'm so incredibly happy. I was so in love with this man that even my family can see it. It's written all over my face just how much I love him.

Neil was signing in for his first day at his new job there. (Makes sense as in the tv series Neil is a doctor). At one point I walked up to him at the secretary’s desk. He turns to look at me, and when our eyes meet his face is so close to mine. I go speechless, not making one sound and literally freezing on the spot. In the back of my mind, I'm even thinking he might very well kiss me right then...... in front of all these people, which I think sort of embarrassed me. Lol! But when he turned around and looked into my eyes, I was in for a surprise b/c I saw PATRICK’S eyes staring back at me. I completely forgot what I was going to tell him b/c those eyes caught me so much by surprise. I expected to see Dr. MacNeill’s eyes, not Patrick’s. All that went reeling through my mind was how incredibly vulnerable I felt as his very intense eyes bored into mine. I felt vulnerable and helpless, as in he saw into my very soul. It was sort of an uncomfortable feeling actually. There were absolutely no secrets between us. He never spoke to me in the dream. Just stared at me. I also remember thinking how light blue his eyes are.

And I understood that he knows things about me that EVEN I don’t know! But at the same time I knew that there were absolutely no judgments from him. He accepts me for the person that I am – faults and all - without reservation.

Next, "Neil" is taken away by another doctor/someone that works there; some lady. I wait, and wait and wait for him to return. I decide I'm being foolish. He isn't coming back in the room to see me. (I think he told me he would, or I thought I could read his thoughts that he would. He never outright spoke in my dream).

Finally, he walks in and is in an - unnaturally - cheery mood for a change. He was joining a slumber party with the family. Lol!

In the next part of my dream, everyone is asleep and I was lying in bed. In this one bed was myself, my cousin I think (she was about 10 in my dream) and Dr. MacNeill/Patrick. He doesn't have a shirt on and he's very MUSCULAR. While he and I aren't an item yet, I love him - desperately. I was bashful about letting my feelings be known to him, yet I was so mad for this man. This sounds silly, but in the dream I didn’t want to seem too forward about my feelings, so instead of holding his hand I just grabbed one of his fingers and held on to it - sort of like a child would. Lol! After that I felt him take my entire hand. A couple seconds later he gave it the gentlest squeeze. We never speak. He then rolls over, almost on top of me, and just holds me close. I cannot even begin to describe how heavenly that felt. I was so relieved to discover in that dream that he shared my feelings. We just lay there, holding each other and not speaking a word. The second he took my hand voluntarily, that's when I knew 100% that he shared my feelings.

It really depressed me when I woke up the next morning. It affected me for a few weeks actually. Pardon my theatrics here, but it was like being in Heaven’s Gates one moment…. and then waking up in a hell (of sorts) in the next moment. I mean, in this dream I could even remember feeling his weight around me as he held me. That was my last thought in the dream.

And the next morning I realized that life feels so lonely when you can only feel that kind of love with a man in a dream.

UPDATE about the dream above:
I just remembered something about this dream. I didn’t originally write it down b/c I thought it was nothing, but I’m now thinking that that was an error in judgment. I think there might be a message there after all.

In the part of my dream where I’m lying in bed, at first my head was at the foot of the bed. In other words, I was lying in the bed BACKWARDS at first. When I woke up was when I finally lied in it correctly.

But for a long time now I’ve had this… well, let’s just call it a gut feeling… that that position was meant to represent YIN and YANG. You know, the masculine and feminine energies. While looking up information about yin/yang today, I stumbled into some sites about soulmates/twin flames.

I’m also beginning to wonder if my cousin (a younger version of her) was in this dream because:

- He and I were distant cousins.

- I was that age (around 9 or 10) when he and I first met. (Mom thinks I was his ward for a time).

- He’s trying to tell me that my name back then did have an ANN in it somewhere. (I’ve been told by two people they thought my name was something like “Annabelle.” It had an “Ann” in it they both say. And well… my cousin’s name is JulieANNE.” Of course, my sister says my name was Rebecca and I've heard Patrick call me "Becky" many times).

But I do believe a lot of truths/messages are in the details of our dreams.


Come Back To Me

The day after the dream above, I had the following dream. It was short and kind of weird.

In it I was rewinding a cassette tape of mine. When I hit the play button to see if I had it on the correct spot, some Spanish song of all things was playing on the radio. The only English words I heard were “Come Back To Me.”


No comments:

Post a Comment

Thanks for visiting! I LOVE receiving comments on my blog(s), but I do have one simple rule:

- Disrespect and SPAM will be deleted immediately. If I see any, Patrick and his brethren will toss you inside his dungeons where you'll eat moldy bread alongside a few rats, and be subjected to a minstrel's lousy, head-splitting singing and really bad poetry.