Thursday, September 8, 2011

~ About this Blog ~

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This blog consists basically of entries from my older Patrick sites. That way everything is combined into ONE blog opposed to several. (And I didn't copy/paste everything from those other sites to this blog).

Here's a quick overview of the different sections, just in case you want to skip certain entries:

- What are Twin Flames?
- Backstory
- EVP
- Aunt's Reading
- Automatic Writing
- Patrick Dreams, Part 1
- Patrick Dreams, Part 2
- Patrick Dreams, Part 3
- Readings, Part 1
- Readings, Part 2
- "Stop, Phantom!"
- Random Coincidences
- Possible Signs
- Random Messages
- Past Comments
- Recent Updates


* (Recent updates can be viewed by clicking HERE. Blogger won't acknowledge when that entry is being updated... since it will always be the last entry on this blog... so you can only check for updates by clicking the link provided).

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Just FYI: I have since ceased communicating with the person that volunteered a lot of the readings, but am still grateful for her "friendship" at the time. (Before we stopped talking, I was even going to include her in the dedication of my book which is loosely based on Patrick; should it ever become published of course). I did learn a lot from her, most importantly to trust myself a little more. No matter how things turn out in the end, I do believe some people come into - and even leave - our lives for good reason.

And in following my gut, which can be a tough thing for me to master, (Hello? Analytical Taurus here Photobucket) I do believe a lot of Nat's readings were correct.

Also, please understand that even though I've recorded my experiences and theories on this blog.... I am still very skeptical. To discover the truth, I believe skepticism - and openmindedness - is pretty much key.

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Wednesday, September 7, 2011

What are Twin Flames?

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First off, I would like to confess that I am not a fan of the term "Twin Flame." Photobucket It sounds too hokey and New Age for my tastes. When I first heard about twins, I didn't take them very seriously because the term itself sounded so ridiculous and made up. I also didn't give the topic much credit simply because most of the sites and forums I'd come across about twins were really, erhm... eccentric, strange, filled with a lot of 'woe-is-me' angst

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and a few stories of infidelity. They made me think they were pulling their information out of a box of crackerjacks. I was reading a lot of platitudes which didn't come with any skepticism whatsoever.


Okay, having said that... written below is what I believe about twin flames. And when I say "believe," there is still some skepticism rearing it's head. Not nearly as much as before, but I'd be lying if I said I believe in this 100%. I don't know how anyone can say they 100% believe, in anything spiritual or paranormal related, without the facts staring them in the face. With ghosts, a person KNOWS they're real when they SEE one when wide awake. But something like twin flames.... how can that be proven through science? It can't. The details of twin flames aside, the key element here seems to be emotion. (Which quite frankly, I'd be skeptical of since ego can get in the way). The truth of twin flames really does have to be experienced. Otherwise, I can understand how crazy it might sound to some people.

Remember, I was one of those people. (Okay, so I still kind of am. Whether TF's are real or not, it doesn't matter to me. I do find it an interesting theory though).

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So if I were to describe what I think Twin Flames are, I would say to imagine Yin & Yang. Our twin and ourselves have our own separate identities - formed by life experiences - yet we really are one; like two sides to the same coin. During - rare? - incarnations together, there is usually a large age gap and oftentimes something will invariably keep twins apart. But... I also believe, and for most of us anyway, that our twin is actually in Spirit watching over us from The Other Side. Rarely will they be on this earth plane, with us (or without us) and in the flesh. In these cases, I think of them as a sort of guardian angel/spirit guide/protector.

Now, is any of this really true? That's up to YOU to decide for yourself. Follow YOUR instincts and inner voice, not anyone else's.

I also think people tend to romanticize twins. I have a feeling it's more about spiritual growth than romantic love. (Not that romance is never there. I just think the spiritual aspect of twins is more powerful, hence even incarnating without them).

A lot of people tend to believe that one day, when we've learned all the lessons we've set out to master, that only then will our spirit merge with our twin in the afterlife; our souls will literally become one whole. Personally, I never bought into that theory because it would imply that in the end we don't have our own separate identities. I think that one twin's lessons during an incarnation also affects the other. We learn from each other, and ALWAYS do we have our own individual personalities and sense of self.

The best way I can wrap my mind around the theory of twin flames is that IF we all belong to "soul groups," our twin is simply another soul which is the closest to our own; hence them being our "twin." (Sort of like how most twin siblings here on Earth can feel such a strong connection with each other. They ARE their own person, but they also share a very strong connection). When it comes to these soul groups, I tend to picture a family tree like is used in genealogy. For instance, your twin would just be on the same branch as you and right next to you. Out of all the souls on your branch, your twin is your closest 'neighbor.'

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Everyone else on your branch, or nearer your branch, could be your soulmates. (I call them "Kindred Spirits," as I think the term 'soulmate' is often misinterpreted).

One more thing: Even I don't 100% know that twin flames are real. I don't even know for sure exactly who Patrick is. It's only that through doing a lot of research and paying attention to my own experiences and dreams, I've discovered that him being my twin is just one possibility.

For all I know, he could be anyone... and no one is more skeptical about him than I.

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Note:
I’ve decided to erase the Twin Flames articles. I know that a lot of people have expressed liking seeing the articles in one place - as did I - but I think it’s time to take them down.

When creating this page, I made it a point to provide a link to every single article. Unfortunately, where one finds the article isn’t always where it was originally posted. (And I would think this is self-explanatory, but there’s no surefire way of knowing the original source unless you yourself wrote the actual article).

So as to not step on anyone’s toes, I’m going to wave my magic wand here and make it all disappear.
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From this blog anyway. There is A LOT of information out there concerning Twin Flames, and it does take time to weed through it all.

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Tuesday, September 6, 2011

~ Backstory ~

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"The listeners got some such insights into their past lives, as one gets into the darker parts of the woods, when a stray gleam of sunshine finds its way down to the roots of the trees."

- James Fenimore Cooper

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While I was living in Houston I had my first ghostly encounter. I was only 6 or 7 years old at the time, so the experience was very frightening and thoroughly confusing.

I was in my bed, unable to sleep. I was lying on my right side when I decided to lie on my back. When I switched positions, I saw a ghost kneeling at the end of the bed. He was looking down as he smoothed out the covers. He was actually very immersed in such a tedious task! He was dressed in Renaissance clothing, although at the time all I knew was that he didn't look or dress like men of today and that he had very weird hair for a man. Lol!

Amidst my fear of seeing a ghost, I remember thinking that his hair was very “girly” for a male. (Pageboy hairstyle). His hair was VERY blond and his clothes were VERY fancy. I remember his jerkin as being burgundy. It had vertical stitching, and it ‘puffed out’ a bit between sections. (Sort of like in the photo below, only the sections were wider and had more padding).

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I think he might have had on a cape as well, but I don’t know for sure as it was dark in the room and I was pretty frightened. I tried pinching my sister awake, so that SHE would scream FOR me (Lol!) but I didn't pinch hard enough I guess. (I even remember trying to pinch her enough to wake her, but not enough to actually hurt her. I've always wondered if she would have seen him, too, had I woken her up).

For a long while I watched him concentrating on smoothing out the covers from one end of the bed to the other. When he was on my side… well, the middle of the bed actually as my sister and I slept in the same bed and I was always sleeping smack-dab next to her while holding her hand... he was smoothing the covers, when suddenly he looked up.

He froze and silently stared straight back at me, which terrified me even more because his eyes started glowing. They glowed a very bright white light. Like a light encased inside a fog. (TERRIFIED ME). I’ve always thought that unusual for a spirit, but I’ve been told that that’s normal. He looked very solid, like us, except for those eyes.

Someone told me once that they see that in spirits all the time and call it “love light.” They say the light intensifies with their emotions. I really don’t think he meant for me to see him and didn’t want to scare me – and so he froze. In fact, I think that I scared him!

Several years ago... as in on or around October 1, 2002... my aunt tried contacting my ghost. It took her a while to get a name from him. He finally told her that his name was “Patrick.” A few years later someone else told me that his name was "Patrick" as well. After 24 years, the mystery of his name is solved!!!!

Another interesting thing is that my aunt said that Patrick said something about her losing her kids. The psychic... just someone who offered free readings for fun on a forum not even paranormal-related... told me almost the same thing; that he had lost his children. All I know is that someone definitely lost children. (I've even had a dream before where the spirit of some woman kept crying to me about that same thing).

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Just FYI -

Whenever I mention "Dr. MacNeill" from the Christy tv series in one of my dreams, it's the actor in the video below. I would fastforward to around the 9 minute mark to see him:



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Also, the picture below is the closest I can find that looks like Patrick. It isn't exact of course - (I mean, duh... Brad Pitt? Photobucket) - but it's the best I can find. It's the hair and chiseled features more than anything. I think Patrick's features are a little harsher.

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Monday, September 5, 2011

~ Electronic Voice Phenomenon ~

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Just a few possible EVP's of Patrick:

I don't fully trust EVP, as I have captured a few negative one's before, so I would be skeptical. I've even had evp's where it sounds like Patrick, only they're being negative. The evp's below are the one's I feel deep down in my gut really are him. I can't explain it, but they sound and feel... well, familiar.

And for those who don't know what evp is, it's just spirit voices picked up on a tape recorder. Some of these might be easier to hear with headphones, and laptops aren't the best for listening to them. For the most part, however, I think these particular files can be heard fine without headphones.

Remember to pause the music in the sidebar!



"Wake Up! Be-cky."
(This evp appeared the second I entered the room to turn off the recorder. The first part is a very loud whisper, and the last word is said in a very deep voice)

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"Be-cky, Becky, Becky... I miss you."
(The volume might have to go all the way up on this one. Just remember to turn it back down before listening to the other clips)

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"Noooo, stop it!"
(The squeak you hear at the beginning of the clip is me closing my bedroom door right after turning on the recorder)

And below is the same evp, only slowed down and without the door squeaking in the beginning:



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"I called you... Becky."
(The last word in this evp is an echo)

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"Please."

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"Rebecca."
(This one is near the end of the clip)

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"Becky, love to find you."

(To me, the first word sounds like a different voice since it's higher pitched. Also, the last word here has an accent. Sounds Scottish, or something similar. Maybe even Wales or Holland? No idea. I definitely hear an accent though).

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My Aunt's Reading on Patrick

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One day my mom and aunt were talking about the paranormal over instant messaging when Mom brought up my knight. Out of the blue my aunt decided to do a reading. This was the very first reading ever done on him, which I believe happened on October 1, 2002.

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Aunt:
He has not come back to this life.

Mom:
In her dream - He is on his horse. It is rearing. It is like a battle is going on. He has a sword. She is frightened. He is the leader.

Aunt:
He must have died in battle. And he is letting her know he is still there waiting for her. She must not be frightened.

Mom:
Very fierce. She grabs a woman’s hand and runs into a white tent. It has furniture in it. She hides from him. They are afraid.

Aunt:
White stands for purity and spiritual things. He is not there to hurt her. He is there to protect her.

Mom:
Then he opens the tent flap and peers in right at her. She wakes up.

Aunt:
She needs to confront him. Tell him she understands.
He wants her.
He has to be patient because she has to finish this life.

Mom:
Oh, okay. She says they were very afraid.

Aunt:
Because she doesn’t know who he is, but he knows her.

Mom:
He was evil looking. Fierce.

Aunt:
He will not hurt her.
Yes, he was a warrior.

Mom:
Not evil. Fierce.
His eyes were huge and white (when she saw him as a ghost).

Aunt:
I will talk to him.
Yes, he is a spirit.

Mom:
Okay. Kris knows he is not evil. Because as a child, when he came to her, he froze when she looked at him.

Aunt:
No, he loves her but is mad that she has not come back.
He misses her.
He will be aggressive.

Mom:
He isn’t earthbound?

Aunt:
NO

Mom:
Like waiting in a castle for her?

Aunt:
But she keeps coming back.
Yep.

Mom:
And he does not?

Aunt:
Right. He has chosen not to come back. I will try to contact him.
OHHHH

Mom:
Kris thinks he was there for her sister.

Aunt:
NOOOO he is there for Kris.
Not her sister.

Mom:
I agree.
Remember her medieval vision? About me (possibly).

Aunt:
Yes.

Mom:
Waiting to climb up the castle wall.

Aunt:
I believe you and I were there at the same time. I read books about castles and feel I have been there. Walked on the cold stone floors and felt the cold walls.

Mom:
Some of her dreams were seeing “paintings.”

Aunt:
Maybe she was an artist.

Mom:
Kris wants to know if the dream about him was just a dream or a memory.

Aunt:
His spirit is trying to contact her. He doesn’t mean to scare her.

Mom:
I think so, too.

Aunt:
He is so lonely for her.
I will do the cards on him.

Mom:
She is reluctant to believe he is waiting for her.

Aunt:
Ace of Swords. YES.
It is him.

Mom:
Kris says maybe we were twins back then?

Aunt:
Yes, I bet we were. I have always felt that we should have been twins.

Mom:
I have always felt like I was a twin but nobody would tell me where my twin was?
So what do his cards mean?

Aunt:
He was a very important knight.
He was very much in love with Kris.
She died.
Or he died.

Mom:
But did she love him?

Aunt:
YES.
Oh very much so.

Mom:
He must not have come back at all yet.

Aunt:
NO
He doesn’t want to come back.

Mom:
Kris wishes she hadn’t. She’s told me so many times that she doesn’t belong in this time.

Aunt:
I don’t believe I do, either. I understand how she feels.
I will tell him to be patient.

Mom:
.... And I told her when she told me about the castle turret that I was going to get a baby from the woman in the castle. I was getting a baby that was stolen. Kris says someone was going to lower a rope or something down to me but maybe they got caught?

Aunt:
Maybe that is how I got here. They beheaded me. Ha!

Mom:
Kris could have been a captive he fell in love with.

Aunt:
TRUE.

Mom:
That would explain her fear of him.

Aunt:
Well I have a fear of being smothered.

Mom:
In her dream, she says it was a battlefield. She says he was the LEADER.
Yelling directions to the warriors.
He had a white horse.

Aunt:
OH MY GOD
I just pulled a card on him and it was a white horse. The sun card.
Wow

Mom:
Now that is funny.

Aunt:
Just as you said it.
Wow

Mom:
Do you suppose he’s constantly watching her?

Aunt:
Oh yes
She needs to talk to him.

Mom:
Literally?

Aunt:
Yes. She needs to chat with him.
Let him know she is aware of him and that he knows she is a very private person and to be patient.

Mom:
She says he had a chance to speak and was stunned when he saw she could see him.

Aunt:
Yes, but she was a child.
He was guarding her. Children can see spirits. Adults have a harder time of it.

Mom:
She was about 7 when she saw him in real life. He was fixing the covers at her feet. Smoothing them out.

Aunt:
He must have loved her dearly.

Mom:
And he looked up and noticed her staring at him and he stopped moving. He wasn’t even breathing.

Aunt:
It frightened him.

Mom:
Did he recognize the child as the woman he loved?

Aunt:
She wasn’t supposed to see him.
Yes. Of course. He knew she needed to come back.

Mom:
I agree with you.

Aunt:
So he was protecting her.

Mom:
Just “checking” in on her.

Aunt:
Does she see a letter in her mind, ever?

Mom:
She says no.
He was dressed as a knight. Dressed in burgundy. With a vest. Vertical stitching. Blonde pageboy above the shoulders.

Aunt:
He said he would come to her in peace.

Mom:
What the hell does that mean? ;o)

Aunt:
I could hear him screaming at me.

Mom:
He is screaming what?

Aunt:
I told him to come to her in peace in her dreams. That his forcefulness scares her.
He screamed, "BUT I LOVE HER!"
Then I envisioned him kneeling and bowing his head and saying he would do so.
Bowing his head.

Mom:
Good. Maybe we’ll get somewhere now. It has haunted her forever.

Aunt:
Does he have hair to his shoulders?

Mom:
Yes. Yellow.

Aunt:
YES

Mom:
Dressed very well.

Aunt:
It was him. I know it was.

Mom:
In burgundy.

Aunt:
Blonde hair. YES

Mom:
Yellow blonde. Very blonde.

Aunt:
It was him. I know it was. He had a deep voice.

Mom:
Name?

Aunt:
He won’t come back. He won’t tell me. May start with an L.

Mom:
Kris says she just knows he was dressed weird and looked different from men she knew. She was only 7.

Aunt:
I asked him, but he would not come back.

Mom:
Wonder why? Lord something? Kris says she was thinking “L.” Now that is weird.

Aunt:
No, it is not weird. It is connecting to the Other Side. Maybe he will come back. He has to want to talk to me.

Mom:
Maybe he’ll come to you in a dream and talk to you. He can channel to you.

Aunt:
He has a very deep voice. Yes, he can. Sometimes I get better stuff awake than asleep.

Mom:
Kris wants him not to scare her again.

Aunt:
I told him so. I saw a tear coming down his face.

Mom:
Oh, wow. He was crying. Maybe relieved to make contact?

Aunt:
Yes. I told him he was scaring her. He got on one knee and bowed his head to me.

Mom:
So he agreed to do what you asked. This is good.

Mom:
Kris doesn’t want him to be sad.

Aunt:
I told him he didn’t have to come back to me but he needed to go to her and make peace. He knows my name! He said “Yes, Cynthia, I will go to her.”

Mom:
Ask him if he knew you then, too?

Aunt:
When I ask his name, I feel nothing. He won’t answer.
Okay.

Mom:
Lord something…. Maybe that is the “L.”

Aunt:
He said I was his mother????????????

Mom:
And me?

Aunt:
He said, “Don’t you remember?”

Mom:
Did he know me? Kris tried to play her vhs tape of First Knight today and it messed up. The sound was crackling.

Aunt:
“I knew all of you well.”

Mom:
How does he know Kris? How did they meet? Did they marry?

Aunt:
He is playing games with me. He won’t tell me.

Mom:
Ha! Perhaps it is too hard for an old Knight? Not tough enough for the 21st century? ;o)

Aunt:
I had tears rolling down my face and I didn’t even know it. This is so weird.

Mom:
Yes, I understand. At one point I felt it, too.

Aunt:
I asked, “Why did you not come back?” He just screamed NO

Mom:
NO MORE
Kris understands.

Aunt:
And I said, but she did. And he shook his head.
His name is Patrick.
Was there a name of that then????
He said his name is Patrick.
????

Mom:
Omg! That is the name we gave a puppy dog statue I have. ;o)

Aunt:
Were there Patrick’s then?

Mom:
Yes, I suppose. St. Patrick.

Aunt:
We need to find out.

Mom:
I will look it up. What country is he from?

Aunt:
He said I came back to find my children, but I couldn’t find them because they didn’t come back.
Ireland.
Wow. That was fast. I just read what you said and Ireland came to me.
But that would match the name, wouldn’t it?

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(Conversation was lost, so they began a new one)

Mom:
Patrick is the most common Irish name. And there were Irish Knights as well. What was that about his children? He was looking for them?

Aunt:
He said I came back to find my children.

Mom:
He came back to our time to find them?

Aunt:
But what I didn’t understand was that they chose not to come back.
NO, I DID. He came to find Kris.
“But her name was not Kris.”
Whatever that means. Ha!
Ana something, Annabelle, Ana???

Mom:
He remember her name? I will look up Irish women’s names.

Aunt:
GREAT. Let me know.

Mom:
I will. And were they married?

Aunt:
Yes. He showed me flowers, white ones around her neck.
????

Mom:
When they were married?

Aunt:
Yes. See if the Irish wore flowers around their necks in ceremonies.

Mom:
I will look into marriages during that time, too. She must have come from a wealthy family.

Aunt:
Yes.
He said, “We know why we love lavender?”
Is there lavender in Ireland?

Mom:
The flower

Aunt:
Yes

Mom:
England.

Aunt:
Yes. The smell. I don’t know.

Mom:
I don’t know about Ireland.

Aunt:
Maybe Kris was from England and he was from Ireland.

Mom:
Perhaps. Very close to each other.
Why does he say we know why we love lavender?

Aunt:
I don’t know.

Mom:
He speaks in riddles.
England is full of lavender.

Aunt:
Yes, he does.
He is playful.

Mom:
Good, he has a sense of humor.

Aunt:
It is so weird. Now I can tell when they want to speak and when they don’t.

Mom:
Is this the first big thing like this for you?

Aunt:
No, I’ve done it many times.
If it ever happens to you, you’ll understand the difference in thinking and knowing.

Mom:
Her name was Celtic. Very hard to pronounce. I think it starts out as Ana…

Aunt:
Ana something. Yes.

Mom:
Celtic. Very ancient.

Aunt:
Analeigh… Ana???

Mom:
Ask him if her name was Celtic.

Aunt:
He won’t answer me.

Mom:
Very hard to spell. Very hard to pronounce.

Aunt:
He has pulled back.

Mom:
Shoot. He is tired. Kris will wait for him in her dreams and perhaps he will make her understand. It has haunted her all her life, for 21 years.

Aunt:
He is watching over her. He will not go away.
“Her spirit is the old one.”
That is what he said.

Mom:
And Patrick was your child.

Aunt:
Yes, he calls me MOTHER.
And I just blurted out his name when I was talking to him. Like I knew it.

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Day After Reading -

I didn’t sleep a wink that night. I was even feeling edgy the day before the reading - which wasn’t even planned - so I guess that, subconsciously, I knew something was about to happen?

The morning after the reading I was getting ready for work. The school didn't call that day, so I went on the internet to look at Victorian graphics and to find a clipart pic I saw a while back that looked a lot like Patrick. Lol! During my search I stumbled on this one site that had pretty graphics with poems. A couple of those had medieval paintings. Two of the poems echoed what my aunt was saying in her reading.

It took me years to finally concede that perhaps stumbling into those poems wasn’t an accident. That perhaps I was LED to find those poems as confirmation for my aunt’s reading.

Come Back To Me
We Meet By Chance

PS - I just realized that in one reading years later Patrick kept mentioning "I'm Francis." What if what he was really saying was "Francine," as that's the author of the poems above? What if by "I'M Francis (Francine)" what he meant was that those poems were from him? (Which he did mention in that one reading; that he led me to them).

He also did mention another poem later on, but that happened a reading or two after the "Francis" mention. That time, he wasn't talking about the two poems above either.

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Update 9-20-11; My Niece's 15th Birthday!

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It dawned on me that perhaps when he said "We know why we love lavender," it's related to those pet rabbits?! (What I'm speaking of is mentioned in one of the readings found in another post on this site). I read today that rabbits love to eat lavender, and that the males even roll in the scent to attract females.

Patrick was very adamant about those rabbits in a couple readings, and I've had many dreams where there's a rabbit present. In one dream (the one with my niece) he was in total disbelief that I didn't remember them from that past life. Just MAYBE there's a connection here with the bunnies and lavender?

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Sunday, September 4, 2011

~ Automatic Writing ~

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Years ago I talked my mother into trying Automatic Writing again. She was going to do one from her Papa, but at the top of the page the only thing which came through was the letter “P” followed by a possible automatic writing from Patrick.

In Mom’s Automatic Writing, Patrick mentioned how we used to “look up at the Heavens and wonder at them.” So the correlation b/w the stars being mentioned in the AW, as well as in that swans/stars dream (which I'll mention elsewhere), certainly caught my attention. And add to that that at the time of the AW even I had forgotten about the dream with the palace and the swans. I now take that dream as being a gift from Patrick. (Took around 10 years for me to figure that one out. That was such a peaceful dream). I think he’s trying to get me to remember that past life. (Which I never will of course).

Here’s the AW my mother did. After that, she did a reading on him. Mom got a monster of a migraine afterward:

P

I cannot tell you how much this means to me. I have waited many lifetimes. Watching. Waiting and still more Watching and Waiting. You grew up fast! How I wish you would remember me! I try to WILL IT, but it seems to be beyond my power. I wish for you to understand something about me. I was a hard man in so many ways, but to survive this must be. How else does one protect so many he is responsible for. We often looked at the heavens and wondered at them. I still remember it well. You seem a little lost to me. Is this so? Do not be so, for I will always find YOU! No matter what comes between. I loved you more than you loved me I think, for you sometimes feared me and you know you were most tender and kind to me, despite my crude ways. You were the flower. I was the thorn. I show you a white handkerchief. For purity and love for eternal life without ever ending. Until you nor I are separated again. Try to remember me. I am right there at the edge. Don’t forget to ask for me to come. I must be invited.

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(Click on Thumbnails)

Most of the AW looks like her writing, but there are words that are in print. Mom hates print and always writes in cursive, so that was interesting. And a few words were ‘fatter’ or ‘stretched out’ if-you-will. The last sentence on the 2nd page (and part of the last line on the last page) is definitely not Mom’s handwriting, and he definitely talks differently than she does. Lol! When she re-read some of it later, she didn’t even remember writing it. She even had a hard time understanding 1 or 2 of his poetic lines. And sometimes she couldn’t even recognize the writing b/c the letters looked a little different from her regular script. I also noticed that there were no commas when Mom wrote this, and that he underlines words differently than Mom normally would.

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Old Patrick Dreams - pt 1

In the Forest

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This is a dream I had a while back. I completely dismissed it because it had some silliness in it. But after a few weeks it dawned on me that maybe the silliness in the dream WAS the actual message.

I was inside a building and I went outside. It was nighttime. Very, very dark and I was in a forest. It may have been a little foggy, too, but I do remember it being a very dark forest. Off in the distance I could see a white horse galloping away. A man was on this horse, and it was Patrick. I tried calling after him so that I could FINALLY get some answers as to who he is. No matter how loud I screamed, he kept galloping further away. I couldn’t understand why he was running away either. (Or perhaps he was trying to get me to follow him? But... you try chasing after a man on a galloping horse, in a dark forest and with only your 2 legs to carry you. Lol!) Anyway, he was determined that I not catch up to him. While I was trying to get him to stop, I noticed that an actress from a tv sitcom was outside with me. She was also shouting for Patrick. Just the fact that an actress was in my dream made me brush it off as not being a message of any sort from Patrick.

However--- at work one day I decided to go ahead and write down the dream anyway. When doing this, I realized that the name of the sitcom that actress stars in is called "King of Queens."

Maybe there was a message there after all. The 'silliness' in the dream was in fact the message. All these years my family has always called Patrick "the Knight." But what if he was trying to tell me in the dream that he was not once a knight, but of royalty; hence the reference to “King of Queens.” All I know is that royalty was in his family for sure. (Patrick dresses like quite the dandy fellow. Very ornamental clothing which is very formal. Very “fru-fru” if you will).

Note: This is also a dream my friend had before we met. Only replace the rider with someone else. Odd, huh? There were a lot of coincidences like this that happened b/w us.
 
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Scottish
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This is another dream I had not long before, or after, the dream listed above. I was sitting with my sister, next to an indoor pond. Small plants were everywhere. My sister showed me a facial expression Patrick used to have. (I don't think I really saw it, even in the dream. I just think it was some sort of serious look. Nothing noteworthy, really). Then I looked down and saw that one of the little plants beside us had PLAID on it. It was as if a light with a plaid pattern was shining on it. I immediately knew that it meant that Patrick was actually Scottish, and not Irish as one would naturally presume; given his name. My sister looked at the plant and told me that it meant he was in mourning.

Okay, so I have no idea what that was about but I refuse to be close-minded about anything that comes through about him. Maybe it will make sense to me someday.

8-13-08 Update: I feel like a complete idiot for not having wondered this years ago, but it just now dawned on me that perhaps he was trying to tell me that he was mourning over Scotland. He must have fought for Scotland's freedom; Culloden or something similar? I really feel stupid now. It's so obvious what this dream meant. I remember that the day I wrote this down, I really didn't give it much thought. I just recorded it, then moved on.

I probably should also mention something I didn't when I wrote down this dream. The setting GREATLY looked like the Commons Area of my college. It was one of the San Jacinto Colleges, and now I'm thinking that that right there might have been noteworthy. WHY, you ask? Ever hear of the Battle of San Jacinto?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_San_Jacinto
 

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Cottage

This is a short dream I had in late 2004 or early 2005, which I had originally brushed off as imagination. It was basically just seeing a scene. No talking or anything was in it; as are all my past life dreams.

I was in some room with Patrick. It was like a small cottage not connected to anything. The ceilings weren’t too tall and the room was all wood. There were red curtains around a fancy bed and the bedding was red, too. There may have been gold tassels on the bed curtains and I think the bed was on a small platform? I seem to recall the colors in this dream being a bit vivid, even though the room was lit by candlelight.

(It was daylight, too. There was one very small ‘window’ in the room, which was closed).

There was lots of noise outside. A lot of commotion. We were standing a few feet from one another, each of us standing on our own opposite sides of the room; myself by the bed and him by the door. I remember there being a lot of tension in the room. I had decided then and there that we were being ridiculous and that this stupid game of ours needed to end. That we needed to admit that we had feelings for one another. In this dream, I was MAD for him. I'm talking madly in love. I remember feeling like he was determined to keep strict control of his emotions - even the distance between us - but that for the first time I was no longer going to hide my feelings.

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Castle Tower

This was like a picture an artist painted from high up in a castle. It was of the street below. The buildings were all made of a porous, light brown stone. Along the sandy walk I saw several ladies wearing those tall hats with the veils on them. They wore dark blue dresses. The window in the castle was nothing but a hole carved in the wall.
 
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Once a warrior, always a warrior
 
A gang was coming up to me, pointing a gun at me. I just ignored them, thinking they just might go away if I wouldn't pay them any mind. They followed me, and when I finally turned to face them, their eyes grew HUGE. I knew they were frightened b/c they were seeing a ghost standing behind me; Patrick. I've always thought that was a little strange.
 
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Tent/Battle

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This dream was like seeing an impressionistic painting. (A lot of my Renaissance dreams are like that). I was in a field out in the middle of nowhere. Trees were far off in the distance. I saw many white tents with red insignias on top. In front of one of these tents I saw Patrick in his human form. His clothes were red and white. He was sitting on top a white horse that was reared high up on its hind legs. He held his sword high in the air and was yelling. A battle was starting, and he was the leader. I hid inside a small tent, knowing that if he found me I’d be dead for sure. I was TERRIFIED of him and thought him very evil. The tent I was in was more like a large sheet which covered stacks of furniture; stools and other stuff. All the furniture was kind of small. The rest of the dream was hiding inside this tent.

I have an expanded, more vivid memory of this dream. Only, I’m not sure it was remembering more of the dream, my subconscious remembering what really happened, or imagination. It was very vivid though. Basically, the battle began and I ran like mad to safety. I pulled an older woman, with black hair pulled up in a bun, with me inside a tent with furniture inside. I remember a wooden cupboard and block table. The furniture was very low and there wasn't anything large enough to hide inside, so the woman and I just dropped to our knees and tried to pray. This woman was my handmaiden. Her dress was dark burgundy and very heavy. It had water spots on it; little darkened black spots on certain parts of her skirt. We were so TERRIFIED of this Knight/whoever finding us. We just hid there without making a sound. I knew that if he found me, I’d be dead. That would be the end. I really cannot express just how certain I was that if he found us we would die.  To me, that was a FACT.  If we were found, we would be killed... period. There was absolutely no hope for escape or that our lives would be spared. Our fate that we'd be killed was set in stone. Finally, the tent flap was brushed aside. The Knight silently peered his head inside. His eyes latched onto mine, and I think he sort of pursed his lips. He didn’t utter one word. Neither of us did. He only stared back at me, silently, and with these huge eyes; a lot like I saw in real life when 7, only they didn’t glow in the dream. I was so afraid of him that I remember his energy not even feeling human.  It felt like he was some wild, untamed savage beast or something, and that that silence of his as he peered his head inside that tent and looked straight back at me... well to this day it feels frightening.  That thick silence and that intense stare was like facing a nightmare. I was so, so scared! This dream/memory was VERY VIVID and felt very real. I still remember waking up from this dream.  When I woke up I was actually pissed off.  I was just so confused because in this dream he might as well have been the devil himself, yet when I saw his spirit when I was a child, I know he wasn't like that. Terrifying as that childhood experience was, I now know that smoothing the covers at my feet was a loving gesture.  He was looking out for me and my sister, making sure were were comfortable and warm.  I actually remember thinking, immediately after I woke up, that this dream was like Patrick having an evil twin or something.  Lol!  It just didn't make sense to me b/c my God I was PETRIFIED OUT OF MY MIND in that dream. My mother tells me that maybe I took the evil feelings away in this dream b/c I was really afraid of the violence surrounding me, and just assumed he was out to do harm towards me.

UPDATE: I discovered that this might not just be a PL memory, but Patrick formulating the dream himself. He was trying to let me know that he will always protect me. I also just read by accident (May '07) that in that dream I was telling myself to calm down b/c it was only a dream and I was safe. And I'm now thinking - years later - that maybe the insignias on the tents were the rampant lion?

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Rock Building

This one is sort of embarrassing. I wore a very fancy, pale yellow colored dress. It glittered a bit and trailed behind me. The sleeves were long and very tight. The entire dress was tight fitting. I was tall and had strawberry blonde hair. My hair was long, wavy and worn down. I was very pale skinned. I was walking in a clearing beside the woods. The trees were very skinny and tall. Tucked in front of where a tree line began, was a rock building. It was low and made of dark gray rock. I went inside. I saw a few small windows that were just cut-outs in the walls, and rows and rows of stone toilets! There was just one lady sitting in a throne/chair in the very back of the room. It was as if her job was to look after people in there. (Like how in fancy restaurants nowadays, you have people hand you towels, etc.) In this dream, I decided to high tail it out of there asap! There was no way I was going in there when another person was present!

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  Space Dream
 
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This was a rather strange dream; this one was set in space. It was just seeing a ‘picture’ of a scene, and I’ve dreamt it 2 or 3 times that I can recall. I’ve always suspected the man in the dream was Patrick…. but didn’t think much on that since Patrick was just a huge mystery to me back then. He was just “the ghost” or “the knight” to me. And since I remembered this dream and decided to look it up in my old journal this week, it reminded me of how in that automatic writing Patrick mentioned he and I “looking up at the Heavens and wondering at them.” And then there’s that beautiful swans/stars dream that I also had years ago, which I now KNOW was a gift from Patrick. (I'll mention the stars/swans dream and the AW later). But this ‘space dream’ as I always used to call it is starting to make sense now I think. (That is, if “looking up at the Heavens” was a favorite past time of ours). Here’s the dream:

All it was was seeing a house of sorts floating in space, and a VERY tall man standing in front of it. He had blonde hair and was very muscular. He had a sword raised above his head and just stared straight ahead with this serious, blank expression on his face. His eyes were definitely Patrick’s eyes. (I can say that with certainty these days now that I’ve had a couple dreams recently where I’ve seen his eyes up close). They had that sort of ‘wild’ look to them; you know, where even the whites of his eyes are prominent. (By the way… the best way I can describe Patrick is to describe He-Man. Lol! That’s right. He-Man from the 80’s cartoon series). Anyway, the ‘house’ looming behind him was made of steel. He was standing on the ‘patio’ I guess you could call it, though it really looked like a stage. I even remember there being bright white lights on the edge of this patio/stage. They were round and just lined the edge.


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Vision/Castle
 
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I’ve had only one or two waking visions in my life, which is surprising. They just came so out-of-the-blue. I wasn’t even really into the paranormal when I had my first vision, and I certainly didn’t believe in past lives:

My first vision was of a peasant lady outside. She was peering behind her shoulder, as if making sure no one was around to see what she was about to do. It actually looked like she was about to scale a castle turret in the middle of the night! (I imagine that she was really waiting for someone to thrown down a rope of some kind for her to climb up).

The rest of the 'picture' I saw was this—
Torches on the castle, very green grass, and a very dark night. No trees were around the castle. (Later, my mother told me that would be common back then for defense purposes). I saw a woman wearing a thin, sleeveless white gauzy slip of sorts with her dark black hair in total disarray. She was also very dirty, emaciated and had dark circles under her eyes. She was looking over her shoulder to make sure no one saw her. She was definitely trying to sneak her way in.

A few years later I brought it up again, and Mom just casually said that maybe she was sneaking in the castle that night to see her baby that was taken away from her. She believes the woman was trying to get her baby back. She says she feels like the Queen's child died at childbirth. The Queen was so distressed that they replaced her child with a peasant's baby that had just been born around the same time.

Fast forward about a year later— My aunt (with no foreknowledge of my vision) told my mother that she had had a strange dream when a teenager. She dreamt that she was sneaking inside a castle to steal back her babies (twins) that were taken from her and given to the queen. She was walking up some spiraling steps, her hand touching the wall on the way up. (She says the castle walls were very cold). She looked back to find someone following her. She said they were very evil and I believe she said that they killed her?

So I thought Mom’s guess of my vision matching a dream my aunt had a bit strange/interesting.

Also, Mom thinks the queen was so upset over her baby's death that she was beginning to lose her mind, and so she eventually believed them when they lied to her... saying that they were mistaken and her baby really is alive. And Mom/my Aunt/whomever was sneaking inside the castle to take back what was theirs; their baby that was taken away.

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Gerry Butler/Patrick Dream

It was nighttime and I was walking along a sidewalk outside a strip of shopping centers. I saw Gerry walking towards me, but knew he’d never stop for me. But once he did reach me, he pivoted and began walking with me. I wrapped my arm around his waist, and he wrapped his around my shoulder I think. He never spoke a word. Just smiled down at me. When I looked up into his face I knew he wasn’t really Gerry, but Patrick. I could tell by the eyes. Also, his smile was very "unearthly" you might say. Very serene and otherworldly. The best way I can describe it is like "Faramir" in the Houses of Healing scene in the movie “Return of the King,” when he sees Eowyn for the first time. The smile was sort of ‘haunting’ – pardon the pun.

I looked up at him and couldn’t help but tell him that he had “THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BLUE EYES.”

After that, we walked inside a Target store. I know it was a Target because the counters were red. Once we entered the store, he immediately separated from me. “Gerry” ambled directly to a cashier to pay for something. (What, I’m not sure seeing as I never saw the man shop for anything. I didn’t even see an item in his hand).

End Dream.

*~* 2 days later I visited GB’s website. I normally just check the updates thread. I don’t even open the thread unless it’s been updated, but that day I decided to check all the new posts for a change. One of the first posts was a Phantom of the Opera vid someone did on August 1, 2005. It was updated that day; May 1st one entire year later. It was titled “POTO vid – IF YOU SAY MY EYES ARE BEAUTIFUL.” *~*

How’s THAT for a coincidence?! When I told Mom about the store in my dream being a Target, she instantly said – “Bulls eye.” I never thought of that, but there has to be a reason for the store in the dream being a Target. I guess it just symbolized that I was “right on target” that Gerry in the dream was really Patrick, or that Gerry and Patrick’s personalities are similar. Maybe both.

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The 'Staring into my Soul' Dream
(This one really set me in a depression)Photobucket

Ever seen the the tv series, “Christy?” Remember the rugged, Scottish Dr. Neil MacNeill? Well he was in it and in this dream I was mad for the man. I mean I loved him like crazy. In the beginning of the dream it was like watching an old episode of “Christy.” Opal was giddy with happiness as she held her baby in her arms – only she had to be told that that baby wasn’t hers. Her baby was dead.

(Note: This echoes how my aunt and that psychic said something about Patrick and losing children. It also echoed my Mom’s feelings on a vision I had once – which was explained earlier on this website. I’ve always ignored this part of the dream, as it’s possible I was dreaming it b/c of that… although at the time I wasn’t thinking of any of that at all. I also wasn’t watching the “Christy” episodes like I used to. Also… I’ve had another dream before where a lady ghost was crying for her children. So, maybe there’s a message there that’s trying to come through. The lady ghost, by the way, I’ve dreamt about twice now).

Opal screamed and ran into the next room of the cabin to see her child. She was wailing out loud, and near the fireplace across the room was Dr. MacNeill sitting in a chair. His back was facing me and I could clearly hear and see that he was crying because he couldn’t save the baby’s life. I wanted… desperately… to go to him and comfort him, but I knew he wouldn’t be comfortable with that. I had to leave him alone. I forced myself to leave.

(Note: I’ve never told my mother about the first half of this dream, and yet she has said that she thinks Patrick was a tortured soul in his PL – something which, I admit, I am drawn to in this life. [Hence my obsession over Scottish Neil MacNeill from the Christy tv series, Scottish actor Gerry Butler, and Faramir from LOTR]. Mom said she thinks that due to Patrick’s station, he was taught from early childhood to be “above” his emotions. It was all about survival for him and the men he was in charge of. But I find it strange that her feelings echo my dream above. I wanted sooo badly to comfort him, yet knew I couldn’t do that b/c it wasn’t in his experience to be “mollycoddled” through any pain or disappointments).

In the next part of my dream I was with my family in some hospital waiting room. When - finally - he walks in the door, I'm so incredibly happy. I was so in love with this man that even my family can see it. It's written all over my face just how much I love him.

Neil was signing in for his first day at his new job there. (Makes sense as in the tv series Neil is a doctor). At one point I walked up to him at the secretary’s desk. He turns to look at me, and when our eyes meet his face is so close to mine. I go speechless, not making one sound and literally freezing on the spot. In the back of my mind, I'm even thinking he might very well kiss me right then...... in front of all these people, which I think sort of embarrassed me. Lol! But when he turned around and looked into my eyes, I was in for a surprise b/c I saw PATRICK’S eyes staring back at me. I completely forgot what I was going to tell him b/c those eyes caught me so much by surprise. I expected to see Dr. MacNeill’s eyes, not Patrick’s. All that went reeling through my mind was how incredibly vulnerable I felt as his very intense eyes bored into mine. I felt vulnerable and helpless, as in he saw into my very soul. It was sort of an uncomfortable feeling actually. There were absolutely no secrets between us. He never spoke to me in the dream. Just stared at me. I also remember thinking how light blue his eyes are.

And I understood that he knows things about me that EVEN I don’t know! But at the same time I knew that there were absolutely no judgments from him. He accepts me for the person that I am – faults and all - without reservation.

Next, "Neil" is taken away by another doctor/someone that works there; some lady. I wait, and wait and wait for him to return. I decide I'm being foolish. He isn't coming back in the room to see me. (I think he told me he would, or I thought I could read his thoughts that he would. He never outright spoke in my dream).

Finally, he walks in and is in an - unnaturally - cheery mood for a change. He was joining a slumber party with the family. Lol!

In the next part of my dream, everyone is asleep and I was lying in bed. In this one bed was myself, my cousin I think (she was about 10 in my dream) and Dr. MacNeill/Patrick. He doesn't have a shirt on and he's very MUSCULAR. While he and I aren't an item yet, I love him - desperately. I was bashful about letting my feelings be known to him, yet I was so mad for this man. This sounds silly, but in the dream I didn’t want to seem too forward about my feelings, so instead of holding his hand I just grabbed one of his fingers and held on to it - sort of like a child would. Lol! After that I felt him take my entire hand. A couple seconds later he gave it the gentlest squeeze. We never speak. He then rolls over, almost on top of me, and just holds me close. I cannot even begin to describe how heavenly that felt. I was so relieved to discover in that dream that he shared my feelings. We just lay there, holding each other and not speaking a word. The second he took my hand voluntarily, that's when I knew 100% that he shared my feelings.

It really depressed me when I woke up the next morning. It affected me for a few weeks actually. Pardon my theatrics here, but it was like being in Heaven’s Gates one moment…. and then waking up in a hell (of sorts) in the next moment. I mean, in this dream I could even remember feeling his weight around me as he held me. That was my last thought in the dream.

And the next morning I realized that life feels so lonely when you can only feel that kind of love with a man in a dream.


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UPDATE about the dream above:
 
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I just remembered something about this dream. I didn’t originally write it down b/c I thought it was nothing, but I’m now thinking that that was an error in judgment. I think there might be a message there after all.

In the part of my dream where I’m lying in bed, at first my head was at the foot of the bed. In other words, I was lying in the bed BACKWARDS at first. When I woke up was when I finally lied in it correctly.

But for a long time now I’ve had this… well, let’s just call it a gut feeling… that that position was meant to represent YIN and YANG. You know, the masculine and feminine energies. While looking up information about yin/yang today, I stumbled into some sites about soulmates/twin flames.

I’m also beginning to wonder if my cousin (a younger version of her) was in this dream because:

- He and I were distant cousins.

- I was that age (around 9 or 10) when he and I first met. (Mom thinks I was his ward for a time).

- He’s trying to tell me that my name back then did have an ANN in it somewhere. (I’ve been told by two people they thought my name was something like “Annabelle.” It had an “Ann” in it they both say. And well… my cousin’s name is JulieANNE.” Of course, my sister says my name was Rebecca and I've heard Patrick call me "Becky" many times).

But I do believe a lot of truths/messages are in the details of our dreams.

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Come Back To Me

The day after the dream above, I had the following dream. It was short and kind of weird.

In it I was rewinding a cassette tape of mine. When I hit the play button to see if I had it on the correct spot, some Spanish song of all things was playing on the radio. The only English words I heard were “Come Back To Me.”

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Saturday, September 3, 2011

Old Patrick Dreams - pt 2

 
Reunion Dream:
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This one depressed me. It depressed me so much that it took months for me to write it down. I knew I’d never forget it, so I waited to record it. I had this dream first though, at a time when it still hadn’t sunk in that Patrick was coming incognito as Neil. He came as Neil b/c in that ‘tent/battle dream’ he scared me to death. Lol! (I think he comes as Neil most of the time now b/c I’m comfortable with that image. I guess it’s Patrick’s “safe” way of visiting me in dreamstate. And I have been told that Patrick’s energy is very “thick” and “intense” and “intimidating,” but that he’s really a gentle soul – or he was in his past life until it was time for battle. And I, too, believe his energy is very intense b/c I think I’ve felt it firsthand. In fact, I felt it so strongly in my room once that I slept in the guestroom for an entire week. Lol! Of course, idiot me didn’t even ponder at the time that it could have been him).

But back to the dream....

I was waiting for “Neil” inside some old fashioned building. I was standing by the fireplace, waiting for him to show up. The room was pretty bare, and the fireplace was an ‘open-air’ concept and made of stone. Instead of the backside of the fireplace resting against a wall, only one edge was flushed against the wall. One side of it faced the front door and the other the room. I always thought that strange but Mom tells me that that would have been common in Renaissance times – for ventilation I guess? (Years later I saw the exact same kind of fireplace on some Hallmark version of Little House on the Prairie of all things. This was a cabin in my dream, mind you, and it did remind me of a Pioneer cabin, only... Patrick isn't from that time so that confuses me).

But I was waiting for him on the other side of the fireplace when Neil (possibly Patrick) BURST through the door with the WIDEST GRIN! We were both grinning like crazy, and even when he kissed me I remember thinking how lucky I was. I cannot even begin to describe how elatedly happy we both felt and how SURE we were that we had each found the right person. We were so happy we were actually GIDDY. Our excitement just could not be contained. I even remember thinking in the dream that a lot of outside forces (people he and I both knew) didn’t want us to be together, but that we had both finally decided that very day – “Well to Hell with them and what THEY want!”  All we wanted was to be happy, together, and on our own terms. A lot of this dream was very quiet and serene though. Even more than when he burst inside, I remember standing by a lit fireplace, alone and waiting for him to arrive. I even remember him kissing me in front of this fireplace, and everything was so QUIET and peaceful.

But I cannot begin to describe how STRONG our feelings for each other were. I don’t think “Love” is even a powerful enough word. Honestly, I think "love" is a puney word to describe the feelings in this dream. I don’t think the word even exists in our vocabulary to describe those feelings. You have to feel them for yourself to comprehend the force of it.

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Dream about Patrick's horse:Photobucket

- After my friend did a reading one night, the next morning I was wondering if Patrick’s horse ever had a name. I even voiced my question out loud. (Don’t ask me why I was so curious about such a trivial thing as his horse’s name. LOL! I just wanted to know, as this white horse seems to be very important to Patrick. I see it in a lot of my dreams with him, and a white horse is always in tarot readings on him). I went back to sleep that morning, but woke with the memory of a dream of seeing a large piece of old parchment with torn edges. It said “Hooker” on it, and then went into describing the type of horse it was. It was like reading a definition in the dictionary really fast, but all I remembered reading was “Dapple Mare.”

Well, when I woke up I thought “Hooker” was a strange name for a pet, but I looked it up anyway. I found out that it had Old English/Irish origins and was coined by the Anglo-Saxon tribes of Britain. I then looked up pictures of dapple mares, and they do look like Patrick’s horse. I always thought of it as a white horse, but on the internet even the dapple grey mares look white to me. So maybe he really was trying to answer my question through that dream. Also, in that dream the information was coming in FAST... which is common for spirit communication.

And this is a little interesting –
Two days after that dream, my Mom was looking at computer desks on the internet when one of the desks she was seriously looking at went by the brand name "Hooker." LOL! My friend told me she thought that that was confirmation for my dream. That it was Patrick’s way of forcing me to pay attention and to stop second-guessing my dream.

- The morning I had the dream about the name of Patrick’s horse, my friend dreamt about a white horse that night as well.

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Another Hugging Dream:
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Last night I was WIRED and couldn’t sleep at all, so I decided to peruse my dream journals. I stumbled across a dream entry from 2002. I’m thinking Patrick was “incognito” in that dream. I’m so glad I wrote this dream down. I do remember writing it down b/c it really stuck with me and depressed me, which I thought unusual.
 
The dream I'll type below -

I had the dumbest/emotional dream this morning. (Tossed and turned all night TRYING to sleep). It sounds dumb, but this dream had NX’s ‘Chris in the Morning’ in it. In the dream I knew he had to end up with Maggie, but the trouble was that I loved him more. And, to my surprise, he felt the same. But we both knew that he had to end up with Maggie anyway – like in the tv show. We never said how we felt about each other outwardly. We each knew by a mere hug. A very long hug. I remember giving him just this simple “See ya” hug, but feeling very sad. I mean, in this dream…. I was sooo in love. But as I hugged him, he hugged me back. And he would not let go of me! He just kept on holding me tight, and that’s when I felt so keenly that he had feelings for me as well. It was so terrible! Terrible because we didn’t have a choice. We couldn’t be together. Then, later in the dream, I was crying so hard about it in front of some friend – but not telling her why I was so upset. (She was a little upset about something, too). Anyway, it sounds dumb but the feelings I felt for him… and the feelings I felt coming from him…. were so real. Guess this was your typical ‘I’m lonely’ dream. That’s it – an ‘I’m lonely. Please hug me’ dream. :o(

End dream.

But then... in the same entry at the very end… what did I write down but this ---

"I’ve also been wondering very much lately about whom the Knight is exactly – the ghost I saw when 7 years old. I’m so curious to discover the truth. He is real. Very real, though I’ve only seen him the one time."

Okay, so in this dream Chris/Patrick was just hugging me. Well… in that ‘staring into my soul’ dream he did the exact same thing. Just held me close. Also, in both dreams he never spoke a word. (Which I hear is normal for spirits as they communicate telepathically). Also, I was wondering about 'the ghost/knight' at the time that I had the above dream. So I guess Patrick knew I was wondering who he was again, so he came to me in my dream.

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Dream with my mother:
 
- I brushed this dream off for a few days before taking it seriously. I dreamt that my grandma was visiting us at our house, and that my mother was telling her about Patrick. She told Grandma that Patrick told her that he was going to have a profound influence on my life.


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It's in his Kiss dream and coincidence:

- Back in high school I was crazy in love with New Kid on the Block Member Jordan Knight. Lol! I had this dream where I was studying with him in my room, but grew really tired so I turned off the light. Jordan (who I now think was really Patrick) knelt on the floor at the side of the bed and kissed me. It was just 2 sweet little kisses. The kiss actually woke me up, and when I opened my eyes EVERYTHING in my room looked EXACTLY like it did in my dream. I was even lying in the EXACT same position that I was in my dream; on my right side, and at the right hand side of my bed. Also… and this is very strange… in the dream I knew that “Jordan” and mine’s relationship was FORBIDDEN by outside forces. We were only friends, but not b/c that was what WE wanted. It was what EVERYONE ELSE wanted. There was also a huge age gap b/w us in this dream. But I was so surprised when this echoed my friend’s second reading on Patrick to a T! And I find it a little funny that Patrick… a WARRIOR… came as Jordan KNIGHT in that dream. Lol! I guess some truths are in the details. It didn't feel like a regular dream.

- A few weeks ago I was wondering if the dream above was Patrick incognito, or not. Well - at work that Friday, the teacher across the hall kept BLASTING the oldies song “It’s in his Kiss” during class changes. She played it over and over and over and over again. I was so sick of it by mid-morning.

When I got home I was doing an internet search for Animaniacs and Tiny Toons cartoon clips (which is strange for me since I never watch tv) when I came across that same song! The characters from Tiny Toons - which just happen to be RABBITS - were singing it! (If you've read my sites before, you'll know why this is important).



UPDATE:
OMG! I just saw that someone replied on the video, and they mentioned the "Phantom of the Opera" reference. I watched the video and yep... at the end the rabbit has on a phantom mask! (POTO is also relevant here, if you know anything about Patrick).

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Radio & Television
 
- That same night of the “It’s in His Kiss” coincidences, I dreamt something silly. I was talking to Mom about how I never get good reception on AM radio stations anymore. In this dream Mom told me that she thought it was b/c I wasn’t ignoring Patrick so much anymore and it was his energy that was messing with the radio stations. Lol!
 
Anyway, the next morning I turned on the tv in the guestroom. It was on the travel channel and another ghost show was on. They were talking about King Henry/Jane Seymour and how he was much older than her. It then said that King Henry called her “his rose without a thorn.”

Well…. What did Mom/Patrick write in that automatic writing but --- “You were the flower. I was the thorn.”

So that’s several coincidences for the same weekend – The song and the flower/thorn mention. Also the age gap.

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Stars & Swans Dream:Photobucket

A long time ago I had this dream that my mother, father and myself were at some huge, fancy palace with marble floors. We were at a ball, and I did NOT want to be there. I wanted to get away from all the noise and people, so I stepped outside for a moment to be by myself. (In real life I am a very introspective and private person anyway, and feel very out of place in this time). When I was outside I was alone in a courtyard. It was very landscaped and PERFECT. It was nighttime and the sky was a very serene, beautiful blue and lots of stars were out. There was a white, domed glass building glowing in the distance. But in front of me, on both sides, were two huge square/concrete ‘pools’ if-you-will; not for swimming, and I think they had little fountains inside them. These two pools/fountains were filled with swans.
 
This dream always stuck with me b/c the colors and everything in the courtyard/the sky were so soothing and serene. And I knew it couldn’t have been a dream about a past life because my parents were in it. But I now think that that was a dream Patrick formulated himself – b/c of the white swans and b/c it was such a peaceful dream. I think that was his gift to me. And again, the night sky and everything was so serene and perfect. Lots of stars.

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Computer Phenomena:
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(Just FYI: On the exact same night my friend and I both had strange things - Patrick related - happen over the computer, and then I had this dream)

I kept dreaming that I was reading messages on the computer to me. It was like reading one of my guestbooks to my websites, and one or more of the posts were talking about Patrick. One of them even said "Love ya, Patrick." But at the same time I knew that that wasn’t Patrick himself that typed it, but someone else. (I think it was a way to let me know that my friend was sending his messages to me FOR HIM over the computer; hence my dream that night and what happened to her that same night with msn). I dreamt about reading these messages nearly all night long. Every single time I woke up, I was thinking of that computer screen that I was STILL dreaming about. Lol! So when my friend told me about her own experiences over the computer the next morning, I was amazed.

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Lady Ghost Dream:
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(This I’ll just copy and paste – for the most part - as I sent it to my friend. I was definitely brainstorming on this one, so bear with me)

- I had a really strange dream once where I saw a woman dressed in a long blue dress, wringing her hands when walking around a pool as she was looking for her lost children.

(Note: I had forgotten when I dreamt that that my aunt and a psychic had told me that Patrick kept saying something about losing children).

This lady crying for her children was a ghost. She came up to me and touched my arm (it felt like a cross b/w a tiny zap of electricity and that feeling you get when your foot falls asleep), then she got in my face and told me – “You’re an empath, aren’t you?!” She sounded really excited about her discovery, though I wasn’t in agreement with her at all. (So I guess that might mean that in my waking life I really am blocking any empathic abilities? My family and friends tell me this all the time. That my overanalyzing is blocking any abilities I might have).
Actually, come to think of it – Dr. MacNeill (now I’m thinking Patrick?) was in that dream as well. After my encounter with the ghost, I was freaking out over the possibility of other spirits talking to me without warning. While balling my eyes out in hysteria, I told Neil that at the end of the day I really needed to talk to him about this. The entire day passed and each time I saw him, he completely ignored me!

So… I never thought about that until now. That Neil in that dream didn’t speak. Patrick never speaks in my dreams, so I guess he was Neil in that dream, too? So either my dream-self translated his not speaking to me as him rudely ignoring me, or he was really trying to tell me something by ignoring me. But WHAT? That perhaps I should stop disregarding that I could be an empath, thus making it easier for us to communicate? Beats me.

But I do wonder if that means anything. In one dream Patrick ran away from me on his horse, and in the one mentioned above he ignored me – or just didn’t speak b/c he was a spirit. But I really do think that he was ignoring me in that one dream purposely. Every single time I ran into him, he would walk right past me without acknowledging my presence. I remember feeling hurt because it wasn’t his normal character.

Maybe it wasn't him?

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Uncomfortable Dream

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(Email excerpt)
Okay… now the dream. It was STRANGE STRANGE, STRANGE. I almost wrote you about it but felt silly about it. But when I read your email today about your class last night (trance), I thought I’d bring it up.

The night after your first reading, I slept restlessly b/c I kept waking up. EVERY SINGLE TIME I woke up I may have been “talking” in my sleep. I’m actually embarrassed to think that my brother could have heard me b/c when he stays at our house he sometimes has to get up during the night to take his dog out.

Anyway, EVERY SINGLE TIME I woke up it was like I was trying to say a name in my sleep, but couldn’t get past the first syllable. It was always a “W” sound or a “B” sound. I don’t know if I LITERALLY made those utterances, but it was happening every single time I woke up. The only way I can describe it is how a deaf person sounds when they’re trying to speak. This is the thing though… in your reading you said you thought Patrick’s other name was “William,” which echoed what I told my aunt in her reading years ago. So that’s why the name “William” could have been on my tongue. Also, the “B” could have been “Brian” because my sister told me she thought his name was “Brian Patrick.”

But each time I woke up from this dream it felt like I wasn’t IN CONTROL, you know? I am not into trances and spirits taking over a person’s body AT ALL. I’m not even sure I ever really believed that was possible. But this “W” and “B” thing was bothering me ALL NIGHT. The last thing I remembered was a dream where I was in the bathroom next to my room. The lights were still off (except for the nightlight), and it was still nighttime. But in this dream I was levitating in front of the mirror, and there was the spirit of some woman in there with me. She was wearing a blue Victorian dress. In the dream someone walked inside the bathroom (my brother I think), and I remember thinking I wish he would say something so that this lady and her control over me in my dream would vanish. It was such an UNCOMFORTABLE, UNUSUAL dream. I’ve never had a dream like that before, and the constant “B” and “W” sounds I was making in my sleep are pretty disturbing as well.

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Tarot Dream
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I dreamt that Mom woke me up and stood at the side of the bed. She had tarot cards in her hands, only they were oversized tarot cards. Very large, like the size of a big picture frame. I think she told me the cards had to do with my past life. I can’t remember 2 of the cards, but I do remember one of them. It was a picture of a red-headed woman (high society I think, or very near it) atop a white horse. The horse blanket on the mare was 2 layered; a rusty red and green. The lady sitting on top of the horse was reaching down to the men on the grass below. There were about 4 or 5 of them. One of them had straight black hair and was older than myself; like he was an uncle or something. I remember Mom telling me that that particular card was a Happy card. But I didn’t quite believe her b/c I thought there was a little bit of blood on the card. As if I had just escaped the midst of some battle or something. (Which made me remember that tent dream).

(Note: I’ve been told that this dream might be saying that Patrick IS me; as in he’s my twin flame. I have to say that this makes sense as I think I had RED hair in that PL and Patrick had a WHITE HORSE. In this dream I – the red-headed woman – was on Patrick’s white horse).

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Funny Computer/Tarot Dream Photobucket

I dreamt that a member at a forum I frequent sent me an email or a PM with a message from Patrick. I dreamt that Patrick was sending a message to me through her via the computer. (I’ve had this happen before with my medium friend). Anyway, I vaguely remember it all. Two pictures stood out for me more than anything.

Smilies
In this dream he told her (via the computer) that he wasn’t ever going to reincarnate b/c his last life exhausted him. I mean REALLY exhausted him. To convey that message he was using smiley faces. I remember 3 animated smilies where at least one of them was one of those smilies dressed like a knight with a sword. I remember this armored smiley crying theatrically and then basically falling to the ground from exhaustion. Lol!

Castle tarot card
I also remember seeing on her email to me a small tarot card with a castle on it. The card itself was small and kind of narrow. It was also all black and edged in white. The castle on the card had lots of turrets
and it was all white. He said something about me and then about his castle. He was comparing the two. I remember the words “beauty” and “adoring.”

Ghost smiley Photobucket
The last thing I remember was a ghost smiley and him saying he was watching over me.

I wish I could remember more of the details. It’s just like that dream I had the other night with the oversized tarot cards. There were 3 (or more) cards in that dream, yet I can only recall the one.

Also, before I had that dream I had a man’s name inside my head and then saw a picture of the actor that was in that dragon movie and who played the prince in “A Knight’s Tale.” (Just found out the actor is James Purefoy and the movie is called "Dragon Sword" or "George and the Dragon").



Also, a few months back I woke up with the name “Trelefeuse” in my head.

UPDATE:In Mom's genealogy research she discovered there was a TRALEE FEUD in Ireland. Maybe that's what that's about? It certainly sounds similar.

Also... I have had quite a few dreams where a man with short black hair was present. I don't know anything beyond that.

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