Tonight, insomnia has forced me into typing up this page. I was perusing some old posts from a website I briefly visit from time to time; mainly in the form of lurking these days. Revisiting that site made me realize how fortunate I really am.
Despite my constant questioning about Patrick, I've come to realize that over the past years those questions have dwindled down a lot. I believe in my intuition a little more (although it is still difficult) and give my dreams much more credit than I did in the past. Personally, I think that right there was a huge leap for me. I've also realized that even though I'll always have questions surrounded the mystery that is Patrick, there are others out there that can relate. I've even had a lot of people leave comments on my old sites, telling me that reading my experiences have helped them. (I would post them here, but there are just too many... which surprises the heck out of me even today. I'm surprised anyone even found those old blogs).
So below I've decided to copy and paste snippets of people's responses about Patrick from a few years ago. (Back then, I still didn't even know his name). Reading them tonight made me realize that I'm pretty lucky to have this mystery to solve. I should enjoy that mystery more.
For privacy's sake, I'll not list the posters' names below:
* I think the medieval guy is WAY cool! He's obviously someone who loves you from before and is taking care of you. It gives me such a warm feeling! .............Love the medieval man - he's a sweetheart and a gem!
* I love him! And he was definitely there to see YOU! You think your dream and vision meant nothing? It's you he loves. Don't you think he knew the difference [b/w you and your sister]?? This is very cool. I just love him, and I don't even know why!
* Your dreams sounded very interesting! I've heard it said that past life dreams seem very real - both in emotion and setting, so I have to wonder if that's what your dreams entailed.
I, too, used to have dreams of medieval times and would wake up feeling that I'd traveled back in time. Unfortunately, I don't recall these dreams anymore, but they sparked my interest in reincarnation. However, unlike you I did develop a fascination with medieval times.
Funny, you said the rest of us were lucky to have the paranormal experiences we've had, yet you then go on to tell of your medieval ghost! That sounds pretty cool to me! I've yet to see a ghost very clearly, so I can't comment on how their eyes would look.
If you'd like to develop your psychic abilities more, I'd suggest the following: keep a dream journal (dreams can often be precognitive, and if not, still can be fascinating to decipher!) and keep an intuition journal of sorts - keep track of synchronicities, intuitive insights, etc. Just the fact that you an interest and awareness of these matters gives you a head start!
* Your story is just wild. I can't believe I love your ghost so much - and he was evil in your dream and had white eyes - oooh! You are definitely dreaming about and responding to a past life. The detail is incredible, but I can certainly understand your confusion and frustration over what to think and feel.
You may consider having a regression. It's not a cure-all; it's not even guaranteed you'll go back to that lifetime, but it's worth a shot. Also, you may want to go to a reputable psychic.
* I know it's hard not knowing. I wrestle with it all the time because my guides won't tell me stuff I want to know (unless they feel like it); they want me to accept so much on faith and feel it in my heart and stuff. I have a logical mind, too, and I want proof like you do. That's why I loved it when they told me the Giants would win the NL Pennant last year 8 months before they did - and the Giants did! That was proof! Proof in the real world!
But I don't know how we prove your medieval guy - who he is, what he is to you, etc.. Even if you had a regression or went to a psychic, I know you'd question them - and that's FINE! It's good to question. My gut feeling, though (for what it's worth), is that he is a positive, loving spirit. Seeing a ghost - or angel - is frightening! The Bible for instance is full of people being scared out of their wits when angels appear. (I have a hard time with the Bible, but I think the angel stuff is relevant.)
So don't be hard on yourself! You have a fun, inquiring mind!
* I do think it's significant that your obsession movies revolve around mortals and ghosts (or people in other time periods) who love but can't have each other. This is obviously a theme in your life but also a theme in the human experience! I think many people feel there's someone out there, but they can't reach them.
When you were afraid of seeing his big black boots, I think you were just focusing on the fear. I've done that before. Something in that person or relationship will spark a fear, and we hold onto it when it would be smarter to just forget about it.
I saw this recently: "The only thing that exists between souls is love." Everything else is illusion. I think this is true, although on the earth plane there's so much BAD (fear, hate, cruelty, pain, suffering) it's hard to believe sometimes. --Just concentrate on the love with this medieval guy. Talk to him in your head, and it will start to feel friendlier.
* You sound like me when you say "I’ve always been skeptical of my own experiences, so I can’t help but wonder if in this particular instance my second ‘remembering' of the dream was all imagination." I tend to be hesitant to share dreams or visions that might be past life related because I don't really trust them. Even when I accept something as probably being past life related, I still find myself searching to see what or who may have influenced the details, or if there is another explanation. I'm much more confident about my experiences with ghosts and guardian angels, but even then I sometimes overanalyze. On your question about white eyes on ghosts, I've never seen white eyes on a ghost, but I have seen a white glow or light coming from the eyes. I call it "love light" because it seems to accompany strong emotions.
* If you watch the eyes of living people, you will see the same glow. It's just not as bright or obvious as it is in spirits. I think it's kind of like the physical body mutes or contains the emotional energy (or whatever) that causes the glow, and in spirit form it shines brighter. Sometimes it freaks me out too. There's nothing quite like seeing a figure with glowing eyes staring at you intensely. I hope this helps explain my reasoning. I would love to know if other people have observed the same thing.
I'm guessing your medieval fellow is probably around you a lot, even when you aren't aware of it. He obviously has a lot of emotion for you, and smoothing your covers is a loving gesture. I get the impression he didn't expect you to catch him and doesn't want to frighten you. It's just my opinion, but I agree with --- that he's "way cool" and I think you are very lucky to have him!
I forgot to copy/paste this into the 'Readings' section. It's the message on that paranormal forum which Nat wrote before we started emailing each other. It was a while later that she told me about this, as I had never seen the post in the first place.
From April 28, 2005
Alright, who is PATRICK???? I keep hearing this name over and over again in my head for the past couple of days and I have NO clue as to who this Patrick is! Why am I hearing this name all the time? There's got to be a reason for this but I can't figure it out! I remember when I first met Mark, I asked him what his name was and the names that went through my head were David, Mark and Patrick. Now I know who Mark is now but now I am hearing Patrick over and over again in my head. And last night as I was coming out of my meditation I saw a black man with sort of like an afro and he was wearing a robe down to his knees and there were red and white and navy blue stripes all over it and he was wearing sandals. Who the heck is that? Did I imagine him? Is he a spirit guide? Is *HE* Patrick???? Why did he come into my mind? I wasn't even thinking about anyone really, except for Mark and then this guy pops into my head for a split second but I clearly remember what he looked like. Very weird. Was he real or just a figment of my imagination?????? When I asked the psychic at the fair on Saturday if she could describe my spirit guide, she said that she saw a robe with the colors red, white and navy blue on it. So did I subconsciously put him in my mind because of what she said?