Monday, August 29, 2011

Readings, part 2

So Funny


PS- When I woke up this morning, the name "Christine" was going over and over and over in my head. And then I thought of you and I said to myself, I have to email "Christine" back today. Now, how long have I known you? I KNOW your name is NOT "Christine" (LOL!) but for that little while, YOU were Christine in my mind. Then I heard "call her Christine- she will like that". Then I was STRONGLY (and I cannot stress that word enough) impressed with the information that Patrick sees you as "Christine". I thought for a second that maybe that was your name in your past life. Then it dawned on me that "Christine" is the character from the POTO!!!!!!! I almost crapped myself! I am NOT a big fan of POTO at all (sorry, lol) and I did NOT put the 2 and 2 together until later. And last night when I was telling Patrick that I think I am going to have to come down there and kick your behind for doubting (which he agreed to- lol), I said to him "What can I do to make her believe??". I said "there's GOT to be SOMETHING I can say or do to make her believe". Well I think we all know how much you love POTO so I think that was his way of getting you to believe. So what do you think about that one , eh? lol. Patrick sees you as his "Christine".


My Email:

But I was laughing with tears in my eyes when I read that about “Christine.” From the very first time I saw that movie, I sort of felt like Patrick/mine’s story was a bit like POTO. Near the beginning they show when Christine is a little girl, and she talks about how the Angel of Music was always there in her dreams, and how she felt his presence and how he was always there, protecting her. And well… I did see him when I was a little girl, and he was taking care of me – fixing the covers at the end of the bed.

Oh! After Mom read all that Patrick told you, she was talking about the “Christine” thing. She was really impressed with that. When she was in the middle of saying that she 100% agrees with Patrick when he told you that I would love being called “Christine”---- she halted on the stairs right then. She said she felt someone at her ear, and she heard Patrick whisper “Thank You.” She says it was said like in relief.


>>>But I was laughing with tears in my eyes when I read that about "Christine." Especially when you said that he told you – "Call her Christine. She will like that."

It was weird because I was so confused because that name was playing over and over in my head as soon as I woke up and I thought to myself, "Oh yeah, I can't forget to email Christine today" and I didn't think anything of it and then after a few minutes I realized, "Hey, wait a minute- her name is not Christine". LOL! And that's when everything else happened and I clued in. LOL! You gotta hand it to him- he's pretty imaginative! He probably thought- "If this doesn't get her, NOTHING will!" lol

>>>By the way—this is a little interesting. Remember how the name of Patrick's horse was possibly revealed to me in a dream night before last? (It was "Hooker," an Old English name). Well, last night Mom was looking at computer desks on the internet when one of the desks she was looking at went by the brand name "Hooker." LOL!

I have one word for you- CONFIRMATION! LOL! That was probably your confirmation that what you received in your dream is true! That's pretty cool! I love it when stuff like that happens!

Ok, before I say anything, Patrick has been with me all day and he wants me to tell you REALLY bad that he loves you. I keep hearing him saying "Did you tell her? Are you going to tell her?" over and over! LOL! So from Patrick- “I love you". Also, he has a bouquet of red roses that he wants to give to you, so look at the bottom of this email- I have attached something for you from him.


You Have GOT TO See This!

Photobucket Photobucket

OMG! I do NOT believe what I am seeing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think i am going to PASS OUT!!!!!! I was just making some glitter images in Photoshop and when I went to browse for pictures, I saw the picture that I used to make your picture with (the castle and rainbow) and it was small (because it was just showing as a thumbnail) and when I looked at it small like that, I can see a MAN on the left hand side of the freaking picture!!!!!!!!!!!!! I tried looking at the picture at the complete size and I couldn’t' see it very well but when I shrunk it down like it was in the thumbnails, I could see it again!!! So I am sending it to you with the man outlined in red!!!!!!!!!! And I swear on my life, my son's lives and my husbands lives, even Marcus' life, lol, that I did NOT alter that picture AT ALL. Hmmm.....................who do you think it looks like????????????????? ::::::thud::::: (that's me passing out- lol).


Like a kid at Photobucket

Also, I really really really hope this doesn't sound rude or mean but can you possibly ask Patrick to come to me only when I ask him to? (like if you want to know something, I can call him to me). He is just is sooooooooo happy to be able to talk to you through someone (that someone being me, lol, which of course is very understandable) that it seems that he is here all the time the past few days wanting me to pass messages along to you and honestly, I love that I have been able to help you and Patrick out with everything but I just can't have him following me around all the time because as I said before, when there is a spirit around me, I tend to feel a bit anxious because I can sense their urge to want to communicate and it can get pretty distracting. I REALLY hope that doesn't sound mean or rude but I just would rather him come to me when I ask so that way I am prepared you know.


Email excerpt:Photobucket

Anyhow, you wanted me to let you know if Patrick is still bugging me- no, he's not. He left me alone yesterday but I forgot to tell you that he wanted me to send you a picture of a white bunny rabbit. (this was when he wanted me to send you the roses too, I just forgot about the rabbit but it keeps popping into my head so I thought I'd better let you know). :)


Mom’s Cards / My Cards

In the car Mom also heard Patrick saying (to me) “M’Lady. M’Lady.” She says he said it over and over again. Lol! She said he has his own greeting for her, only she can’t hear it perfectly. It’s a different, longer form of address.

She also did a reading on Patrick. One of the cards was 5 of Cups, just like I got for him – in his PL I think. His cards were saying that being overly emotional isn’t helpful to him, and that he needed to let go of the past and focus on what remains. She said he is being VERY IMPATIENT and it’s like he’s in mourning right now. She said he was devastated that I left, and that all this communication with me that has been going on lately is like opening a door to a flood of emotions for him. It’s making it even harder for him to cope. I told her how surprising and sad that is, but she told me that he HAS to wade through it though, b/c it’s a growing process for him. She also said that he gets very frustrated with me sometimes, b/c I overanalyze. (Who, me?) She also said she tries to block him b/c she feels like I won’t believe anything she says.

But she said he’s devastated (Mom’s words, not mine) every time I incarnate and leave him behind. He hates when he “loses the connection.” She says he just doesn’t understand that his pages are filled, and mine are not. I HAD to come back, and maybe a lot of his own growth can’t happen unless I’m here and he’s there, ya know? She said he’s feeling a great sense of loss, but that he has no choice but to go through the emotions of this.

And isn’t this strange. A few times I’ll ask Patrick to let me know he’s around by the tarot cards I choose. Those times I’m not really interested in the meanings of the cards, but look for a PICTURE/SYMBOL on the card to jump out at me. A few times I’ve gotten Queen of Pentacles, which has a bunny rabbit and little pink flowers. (I just realized that this morning, about the little pink flowers echoing what you saw in your reading the other day with the bunny. The flowers are red in this picture below, but on my deck they are pink. And still, there is a bunny).


ps- I think you will find that you have psychic abilities too now. ;)

One card I kept getting yesterday was Page of Cups, which talked about psychic ability. Lol! (People are always telling me this, but that's not surprising considering how 'in tune' members of my family are with the spirit world - and they don't really embrace or show much interest in it either).


And I agree with your mom- I definitely think that Patrick communicates with you through dreams.

I think so, too. Remember how Mom said Patrick mentioned a loch/lake and that my aunt said he told her to tell me – “We know why we love lavender?” Well, I’ve had a few dreams where there’s a loch with mountains rising in the distance. And right below me, growing on the hillside, is lavender. I’ve had 2 or 3 dreams like that.


Sunflower Sign


I didn’t sleep at all that night, probably due to Starbucks Coffee again. I decided to take a quick stab at practicing the tarot cards – with some help from my cat whom was VERY curious about what I was doing. LOL! At first I tried just a general reading on Patrick. (No question really).

The first card was Knight of Swords (which Mom gets for me all the time), and that card had a WHITE HORSE on it, just like Patrick's horse. (My aunt pulled the sun card when she did her reading that time, and it had a white horse on it as well).

So later I asked about Patrick NOW, in present day:

I pulled the Queen of Wands first. I decided to study the symbols on the card before looking up the translation. Imagine my surprise when I saw the Queen holding A SUNFLOWER! Just like the sign you told Patrick to send me!


The Cards Match Again

Last night I did the cards on how he was feeling just then. I wanted to know if he was doing better or not. The cards last night weren’t saying he was happy as a clam, but they definitely said he was doing a lot better. It was speaking about a period of relaxation after great emotional turmoil.

So I asked Mom in the car TODAY how Patrick was feeling. She told me that he’s doing much better. When she said that, I was so glad. Not only for Patrick, but because my cards last night said that he was doing better. When I got home I did the cards again. I asked – “How is Patrick feeling today, emotionally and mentally?” The cards all echoed what Mom said. They were very positive. (Thank goodness b/c that 3 of swords card is so depressing). The cards I pulled were:

Ace of Cups:
New stage in an existing relationship. Positive beginnings of an emotional nature.

King of Wands:
You feel optimistic and capable of living your vision. You are overflowing with exciting ideas and are ready to go wherever your questioning spirit will take you. Provided you are able to deal with the practicalities involved (hehe. That made me laugh), you can now achieve a tremendous amount.

High Priestess:
Developing on an inner level/Looking within and not outside yourself.


By the way, while picking up some lunch today Patrick showed Mom a black and white swan again. The swans were on a lake and their necks were interlocked, forming a heart shape.

Awwwww, how sweet is that???? You know i saw that exact same thing a while ago- I wonder if that was from Patrick for you? Hmm............. Oh by the way, I've been meaning to tell you this but I keep forgetting. I think Patrick shows up here every once in a while just for a split second (which I don't mind AT ALL by the way) and he is always referring to you as "My Christine". I will see him in my mind's eye and then I hear that.



LOL! I can't believe you got that card again! hehe. I'm not sure if this one refers to you or to him. Could be you or it could be that he was embracing the qualities of the Queen of Pentacles.

I never know if there’s a message with that card, or if it’s just his way of telling me that he’s around. (B/c of the bunny and pink flowers on the card). I don’t get it every time, but enough to take notice.


I Am Always With You

Patrick is here. (don't worry- he's not bothering me). He seems worried that you think he is not around. He wants to reassure you that he is ALWAYS with you. I knew he was here because I all of a sudden heard "CHRISTINE" really loudly. LOL! I really don't know why he keeps referring to you as Christine but anyhow.......He's not bothering me- so don't worry about that. He's just standing here impressing me with this information. He seems a bit sad that you think he may have left or is not around you the past couple days. He really wants you to know that he would never leave you ever- even for a second. He's always, always there. I think I ALMOST heard his voice too- and you were right- it does sound very deep. I just asked him if there was anything else he wanted me to tell you since he is here but I'm not getting anything else so I guess he just wanted to re-assure you that he is always around. I got the feeling from him that you may have been feeling a bit disappointed the past couple of days because you were wondering if he was still around. I also keep seeing this picture in my head of a scene with 2 swans in a little pond enclosed with big grey stones. And there is a castle in the background- a big castle made of grey stone and beside the little man-made pond with the swans in it, is a stone walkway leading towards the castle. I don't know if that is a message for you, but that is what I am seeing. The swans are both white though and there's 2 of them. Interesting. I get the feeling that it is HIS castle. It seems secluded- like there is no other homes or castles around. It's very pretty actually. I can see green grass here and there too. There's a black iron gate when you go down the stone path leading to the castle and there's flowers around the pathway and gate. I'm actually trying to get into this scene and walk around to see what I can see. The surroundings seem very quaint- not grand like you would think would be surrounding a castle. It looks very homey and cute actually. I got a glimpse of the inside of the castle and everything looked like it was made of the same grey stone (the walls, and floors). It doesn't look very homey inside though- looks large and spacey inside with lots of light coming in from the outside. It does look like it would be cold inside. I can see a large body of water way behind the castle- I am not sure if that is the ocean or a lake or something. There are roses intertwined around the black iron gate I mentioned before. Very pretty and quaint. The entrance into the castle looks to be a big wooden door. Look very solid and heavy. The pathway that leads to the castle slopes down- like the yard in front of the castle is higher up than the castle itself.

Ok, well anyhow, that was pretty cool. All that was as clear as day. I felt like I was actually there walking all around. That was very interesting. I would love to hear your thoughts on that, to see if it might resemble any of the visions you've had.


I do think he's fine now. He certainly isn't hanging around here, so maybe he's learning more about communicating. Either that, or he's resting. Lol!

Sure he's there- like I said above, I think he is just resting. OMG- this is too funny - as I was thinking about why you might not be feeling him around you and wondering if I am right in thinking that he is just resting, all of a sudden I heard on the TV "I am worn out!" .LOL!!! I was not listening to the TV at all but that phrase stuck out to me all of a sudden! LOL!


Patrick Here Again


Ok, Patrick is still here. I get the strong feeling that there is something else he wants me to tell you. I keep hearing that the swans were for you- everything was for you. That whole scene I described earlier- I keep hearing "It was all for her". I think he means he built that castle and everything there for you. It was all for you. He's feeling sad for some reason and I can't figure out why but I just keep sensing a sadness. I keep asking him what he wants me to tell you and I just keep hearing "That I love her". I just saw a diamond engagement ring and I think I heard that you 2 were supposed to be married in your PL. The courts wouldn't allow it. His position was too high. He was called "to duty". I think the 2 of you planned to run away together. I keep seeing a picture of you alone in the castle I described earlier looking very sad and lonely. Like you are waiting for him to come back or something. I don't think he ever returned or if he did it was years later. There's something about Easter that is important I think because I keep seeing all kinds of things related to Easter. I have no idea what that might be. You will forever be his true love. He loves you more than life itself. I also saw a white persian cat with you in the castle, when I saw you alone and sad. I think he also said that the name you received for his horse, was correct because I saw a white horse in my mind's eye and then heard the word "Hooker". He also just said that he is waiting for you. I just asked him what his position was in that life and I heard "King-something", like "Kingsman". I have no idea what that is and I could be hearing it wrong.

(UPDATE July 07: I think she was hearing "KINSMAN." That took me an entire year to figure out.)


He’s Still Here


Ok, Patrick is still here. I was wondering why he is not leaving but I know why now. I keep feeling the STRONG urge to write. He is trying to get me to do automatic writing so I can give you that poem or some kind of letter from him. Well, I can't do that right now because I am very busy- I need to get my boys bathed, etc, etc. So I told him to go back to you. I hope he listens this time! LOL!


He seems a bit sad that you think he may have left or is not around you the past couple days. He really wants you to know that he would never leave you ever- even for a second. He's always, always there.

Well, I did get 3 of Swords (such a depressing card with those 3 swords thrust into that red heart) for him again last night. Also 4 of Cups, which said he felt stuck in a rut but didn’t have the energy to break free. And isn’t this interesting? It mentioned “Longing for something – OR SOMEONE – that is UNAVAILABLE.” The rest said this:

You may be feeling below par or out of sorts, particularly where relationships are concerned; you may even feel resentful, unloved, or be nursing a grudge. This period may seem like an anticlimax after an emotional high point. There is a chance of emotional growth, but you need to be willing to move forward and not remain entrenched in an outworn pattern of thinking.


He was called "to duty". I think the 2 of you planned to run away together. I keep seeing a picture of you alone in the castle I described earlier looking very sad and lonely. Like you are waiting for him to come back or something. I don't think he ever returned or if he did it was years later.

And in that PL tarot spread I did about myself, the last card was The Hermit, which talked about “trusting that things will change when the time is right.” That echoes what Patrick showed you above. That I was awaiting his return.

I also saw a white persian cat with you in the castle, when I saw you alone and sad.

My reply -

Oh boy. It didn’t dawn on me until just now that in my first novel the main character’s cat is a white fluffy cat. Lol! (Which would be a persian). OMG. How funny. I can’t believe it took so long for me to realize that.

UPDATE: I also just realized there's a sentence in my second book (sequel) which mirrors the castle/lonely aspect. Here's that sentence from Chapter 13 - “Those castles you’re speaking of can be drafty, lonely places filled with echoes of nothing save your own voice and your own footsteps.”


Your Mom & Patrick


Could you do me a favour and ask your mom to try to contact Patrick to find out what he wants? Because he is still hanging around me very strongly and he's pretty anxious and upset about something and I don't know what it is. I couldn't even read your emails because as soon as I opened them to read them, Patrick was here so strongly that my vision actually started to go on me and everything went blurry. There must be something urgent he wants to tell you because he won't go. I told him that I will ask you to ask your mom if she will communicate with him because I can't get anything done with him being like this around me. Let me know if your mom will try to communicate with him so I can tell him.


He’s Sorry


Well Patrick did leave yesterday after I emailed you asking if you would ask your mom to find out what was so important that he wanted to tell you. Well he's been with me all morning and I tried to go about my daily activities but well, you know how hard it is for me to ignore spirits so I finally connected with him and he just wanted to say that he's sorry. I also heard him say "I am a man of my word". So I told him that I would let you know.

I'll read your other emails shortly and respond. I couldn't read them yesterday because as soon as I opened them I felt Patrick around me sooooooo strongly that my vision actually went blurry and I couldn't read a word of your emails. So I should have better luck with that today! LOL!


I Heard His Voice

My email

-I’m pretty darn sure I heard Patrick’s voice. I heard it inside my head. (That makes me sound loopy). I was turning off the computer when I heard “Kristin.” It was said kind of quickly. I ignored it, but then I heard it again - “Kristin.” Then I whispered to myself that if I heard it one more time, then I would think that it was Patrick. Two or three seconds passed, and I heard it again – “Kristin.”

His voice wasn’t as deep as I thought it was. I’ve heard 2 men’s voices when half-awake/asleep a few times over the years. One of them was VERY deep. I always just assumed that was Patrick, especially since my aunt said Patrick’s voice was so deep. But to me, the voice I heard last night sounded a lot like the voice I got on my evp a few years ago that said – “I miss you, M’lady. My Becky.” (Which I do believe was Patrick since that was the only time I specifically asked a particular spirit to leave an evp). There was an echo in that evp, and the other night it sort of sounded like an echo as well. Well, it was more like hearing someone calling your name from inside a tunnel. (Is that how it happens? I’m new to this, I have to admit). That’s the best way I can describe it. Like a voice inside a tunnel; my cranium being the said tunnel. Lol! It also sounded a lot like the man’s voice I heard YEARS ago, which was probably around the time I had my first vision of that PL. But that particular voice I heard clear as a bell when I was falling asleep. It said – “Just a little get-together Kristin, okay?” (Whatever the heck that means. Lol!)

But anyway, I was just turning off the computer to go to bed when I heard him say my name. It’s also a little strange that for a couple weeks now I’ve said that I’d love to hear Patrick’s voice.

Of course, after 15 minutes or so passed it felt like it never even happened. I just wish it would happen again – and soon. I know I didn’t imagine it. I just hope it can’t be logically explained away – like a noise coming from outside. I don’t think that was it, but I can’t help analyzing. I wish I looked at the clock before I turned off the computer. I know it was around 10 pm. I wouldn’t have been surprised if I heard that voice around 10:20, 10:22, etc. (I am STILL seeing those 1’s and 2’s on the clocks).



I remembered something else that I believe Patrick showed me. It was at the same time I saw the purple flowers and white horse (not all together of course, but one right after the other). It was a picture of 2 gold wedding rings intertwined. So I think your mom's AW was a lot more accurate than I thought. I know I said I did not get the feeling that the 2 of you were ever married but now I am definitely thinking otherwise. Why else would he show me 2 gold wedding bands intertwined? And in your mom's AW, didn't Patrick say that you WERE married?

Ok, next. For the last 2 days I have been hearing the word "Tobin" in my mind very loud and clear and it just pops in there all of a sudden. So I looked up the word Tobin and look what I found-

My GUESS on this would be that Patrick was trying to tell me you were Irish and that was your clan name or crest. Could be wrong but I am trying to go with my first gut instinct here and that is what it is telling me. You DID have red hair which is a trait of Irish people but then again anyone could have red hair.


Tobin is definitely an Irish name. And to be honest I actually prefer being Irish than French back then. Lol! I'm not into anything French in this life, but I have always loved the Irish accents. I've actually often wished that I had an Irish accent and oftentimes I have to force myself not to create any Irish characters in my stories. Lol! Especially with the women. I must admit that I've always been much more drawn to Ireland than France. I don't have any passion at all for France in this life, and they do say our passions in this life often stem from our past lives. So that alone tells me that me being Irish is the most plausible. I'm definitely leaning more towards the Irish possibility.

Well that tells me right there that you probably were Irish then because like you said- we are always drawn to places that we have lived previous lives. And plus you wishing you had an Irish accent is another good clue too. Sounds like you are very drawn to Ireland so I would definitely say that you were Irish.


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