(I’ll copy and paste what I wrote on a forum I used to frequent)
Not much has been happening around here, so I decided to ask for a sign from Patrick. Just to sort of test him, I admit. I wanted the sign to be something that would stand out. Something a little silly. I decided to make my sign a rubber ducky. Two or three weeks passed and NOTHING. It was a little upsetting, but at the same time I thought - no biggie. (I've been told that he might have a bit of trouble with signs. I think dreams/coincidences are his strongest areas).
So last weekend my niece and nephew were in town. (Haven't seen the kids here since July!) While my nephew and his father were at the air show, we girls went shopping. My niece and I were in Claire's when I saw a "Grow Your Own Rubber Ducky" toy. At the time I thought it was just a coincidence. (I know a lot of you don't believe in coincidences, but I do). I especially thought nothing of it since I asked for that sign so long ago.
Okay now.... today at work at the junior high, I had a student come up to me to show me some pictures she drew for one of her friends, whose birthday was today. She came up to the desk and showed me the pictures she drew. The first and last picture she showed me was of a RUBBER DUCKY. She copied it from her friend's sweatshirt.
I thought that a little weird, but still thought it may just be a coincidence. After that class ended and I had a free period I... feeling really silly at the time... quietly said aloud to myself that IF that was confirmation from Patrick that I HAD received my sign last week... that I'd accept it as proof only if I felt him tap my head or something. (Patrick has been known to tap a couple people on the head before, my mother being one of them).
In another class that day I was standing near a student while he was working on his math assignment. Out of the blue he slapped at the back of his head and said he felt something hit him there. My first instinct was that some kid threw a little paper wad or something at him, but I was standing right next to him when he said that and I never saw anything hit him.
Do you think that the "Grow Your Own Rubber Ducky" that I saw at the mall was my sign? Do you think he waited so long to hand over my sign b/c he wanted to wait for my niece to be with me at the time? Make it that more special? (I am CRAZY about my niece and nephew and never see them, so seeing them just that one day was Heaven for me).
And do you think the rubber ducky pictures and the boy being (possibly) tapped on the head was confirmation?
- A day or two later something rubber ducky related happened at school again. I was a little bummed b/c I decided to test Patrick once more. (My bad, I know. I like PROOF). Anyway, 2 days passed and no sign. I mentioned this on that forum, but then something happened at school the next day. I’ll copy and paste what I wrote on that forum below:
"And at school today, what did a couple of the kids start singing but ‘Rubber Ducky, you're the one.’
When I related what happened, someone told me they thought that was Patrick’s way of saying – “Wasn’t the rubber ducky enough?”
That maybe the signs exhaust him and that it was too soon to ask for another.
One night I was thinking of looking at claddaugh rings on ebay. That same night my friend emailed me about POTO jewelry on ebay, and just then my mother yelled up at me from downstairs, asking if the last time we bought jewelry beads did we get some clasps, too? Lol! She said she was just now cleaning out her jewelry box of all things.
On that same night my friend found a little side link of Phantom of the Opera Jewelry. Of course, she sent it to me to feed my obsession. She later emailed me back to tell me she thinks the horseshoe sign I had been asking for from Patrick was on the POTO page. Of course, skeptic that I am didn’t believe her – despite the coincidences with the jewelry that night and the horseshoe jewelry being on a PHANTOM page. If that was my sign, Patrick must have been really let down. He probably thought that my sign being on a page for jewelry to my most favorite movie IN THE ENTIRE WORLD would have been really special. But noooooo, I had to analyze it. (Okay, so I still do). Well, it was the next evening I think when I emailed this to her. I think it was Patrick's way of not giving up on me recognizing that darned horseshoe sign?
My reply -
I think I know what your answer will be but could this be my horseshoe sign? Last night I was at the computer while “Shrek 2” was on tv. That movie is always on and if it is I usually just keep it on that since I can hear Shrek’s Scottish lilt. Lol!
Well, while typing at the computer last night I turned around and watched a scene near the end, where Shrek and Fiona turn back into ogres. I couldn’t help but notice that when Donkey was turning from a beautiful white mare to a donkey again, he watched his horseshoe popping off. (And Patrick’s horse was a white mare).
Scotland and Lavender
- My friend was browsing the internet one night for Romeo and Juliet pics. She came across a picture of “The Most Romantic Castle in Scotland,” aka Donan Castle.
She said that she thought Patrick had been showing her things really fast and that she hadn’t even realized it. She thought she saw some kind of weird looking cow. When she went to the site that had the Donan Castle picture, she saw her strange cow. I instantly knew she was talking about a Highland Cow, of course. But I think having a picture of that shaggy beast inside her head disoriented her for a bit, hence the reason she brushed it off at first.
Also, when she was replying to my email about the cow, she heard at least 4 taps on her entertainment center. (Tapping is another one of his calling cards). Directly after she acknowledged the taps, she remembered purple flowers. She had been seeing them in her mind's eye a lot, along with the HL cow, a white horse, etc.
My reply about the purple flowers was –
- This is weird. I’ve had a few dreams… non-Patrick related where there were purple flowers on a cliffside and in the distance was a lake with mountains rising behind them. (And Mom has said that Patrick’s shown her a loch filled with a couple swans, and with craggy mountains rising behind the lake). I guess that was Patrick's doing. Him trying to jog me memory of the purple flowers/lavender. Also, when my aunt did her reading that time, she said that Patrick said – “We know why we love lavender.”
We never did find out if he meant lavender the color, or lavender the flower. But I would assume he meant lavender the flower. We don't really know why he mentioned lavender to my aunt, and now TO YOU as well. But it’s also a little strange that at one time I had my room painted lavender, and I had Mom make the lady’s dress in my Renaissance stained glass, lavender. I remember feeling very adamant about her dress being that color.
- After she read my reply above, she felt a STRONG presence standing behind her and knew it was Patrick. She said she had forgotten how intimidating he is. He was on her left side just watching her type. She said he was actually making her nervous staring over her shoulder like that. She said he has a “VERY commanding presence” and almost felt like she should get out of her chair and bow down on her hands and knees. ROFL!
- Three nights earlier I was trying to find all my Scotland castle pictures. I found out that they were on the old computer, so I transferred them to the new computer. The next night I showed them to Mom. So I thought that kinda weird that she stumbled into Donan Castle around a time when I started looking at my Scottish castle pictures again.
Lavender, Pansies & Thistles
My friend was searching for a picture of the purple flowers she’d been seeing. She discovered that she’d been seeing lavender and pansies.
My reply -
The ONLY thing I can think of relating to pansies is that when we were looking at model homes the other day, I voiced to Mom how sad I was that they pulled up all the pansies at this one model home. I’ve always LOVED the scent of that garden each time I walked past it.
Note: Maybe Patrick really does hang out with us?!
Here’s another reply from her -
Now here's the freaky part- as i was looking to find a pic of the flowers i have been seeing a lot of lately, i got led to a site that had the Flower of Scotland on it (because it has purple on it and i searched for "purple flowers" and that came up). And guess what the photographer's name is???? PATRICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And my reply -
Ah, a thistle!
And did you notice that the only people commenting on the picture had “gerard” and “james” in their usernames? Well… Gerry’s full name is “GERARD JAMES Butler.” And the “Patryk” photographer is an odd coincidence.
Two sides to the same coin
This is funny. In my email to someone just now, I mentioned how I’m always stumbling into coincidences these days. Well, a day or two ago I mentioned that I think twin flames are like two different sides to the same penny.
Sooo… what did I just now read on Gerry’s main website (which I don’t really look at these days) but--
“They're going to be wanting something from Leonidas that's held back from them. If they find the Phantom after Leonidas, then they're going to get that sensual, emotional side they were yearning for from Leo. It's almost like they're two halves of the same coin.”
Roses & Rabbits make a comeback
On a whim I decided to read some of the back posts at a site that I frequent. (It’s the same site where Patrick first contacted Nat, only at the time I never saw her post and she had no idea yet who “Patrick” was). While there I stumbled into a post I made last year (1-23-06) about receiving signs from our spirit guides. (And I remember that that sign I asked for was if Patrick was for me, and not my mother or sister). In that post someone wrote:
"I think the more you try to test them, the less you will feel close to them. As **** put it, you just need to KNOW they are there. Maybe stop thinking about it for a few days. The sign might come to you then loud and clear because you weren't worrying about it. I feel impressed to ask you to meditate and visualise baby rabbits leaping around a spring meadow. This will relax you."
That one sentence about the rabbits grabbed my eye because I've been told that Patrick's strong point is impressing things upon people. Also, an ENTIRE YEAR after this post Nat saw Patrick with this big smile on his face as he was holding a furry white bunny next to his cheek. It drove her nuts not knowing what he meant by that, so she finally asked him to come back and tell her. (What she received is in a 'Readings' section of this site).
By the way, when that person mentioned visualizing rabbits in a spring meadow... at that time I thought nothing of it at all, as it wasn't until at least an entire year later that Patrick mentioned the rabbits in a reading. Even then, I didn't remember that one post. I just stumbled upon it again by accident one day.
But there’s more. The night before I read that back post, I saw something on tv which I thought for a second might be a sign for me, but then immediately dismissed. I was watching some Hallmark movie where two characters spoke about this woman's love of roses. Roses, which she could never grow but which eventually did grow due to her tetchy husband dumping 'fertilizer' on 'the sticks.' He eventually planted two extra rows for her.
Well--- in one of my books there's a character who planted a rose garden for his wife, and Patrick mentioned the same thing in the reading mentioned above. Also, right after that scene about the roses in that Hallmark movie was a commercial that was nothing but a close-up of a white bunny... just as Nat saw Patrick cuddling.
So in that reading he mentioned my love for roses and him putting up with my affection for rabbits, and on tv that night this woman loved roses – which her husband ‘put up with’ but ended up planting extra for her anyway (which sounds like what Nat told me about Patrick ‘putting up with’ my love for rabbits, and what I wrote about roses in my book) - and then there was that rabbit in that commercial.
And in that backpost I read last night (which was posted a YEAR ago), rabbits were mentioned. Not only that, but someone pointed out that when I told them about my roses and rabbits sign that night, the person who had made that post last year was at a birthday party that day…. and while there they were playing with rabbits.
I also find it a little funny that I suspect Patrick might have been Scottish, and I received my sign from a poster on that site who is from Scotland.
Also… a while back I was watching Ghost Hunters on tv. When a commercial came on I turned it to LOST b/c I suspected one of the characters was Scottish. It was on that particular actor’s scene when I turned the channel to LOST and heard him say – “I am Scottish.” And in the scene directly after his, there was a white rabbit inside a cage.
So maybe Patrick really was Scottish. I’m always thinking he was probably from Wales, but I keep running into signs saying otherwise. I’ve even had a dream which I think was him trying to let me know he was from Scotland. And maybe the poster (who said she felt impressed to ask me to visualize baby rabbits leaping in a field during meditation) being from Scotland was another way of him confirming that yes – he was from Scotland.
I think Patrick is VERY PATIENT with me, seeing as I'm always missing his signs. This is the second time I've come across communication from him via that forum and it took me at least a year to see it. And then there's my second-guessing the signs I do receive. No matter how adamant I am on not believing the sign, confirmation usually follows.
May 1, 2007
Knight Angel for Truth Spirit Drawing
Last night, when reading through the kids’ last journal that I made years ago, I stumbled on a post I replied to on that paranormal site I frequent. The post was made on May 3, 2005. Someone posted a painting they did, then asked what everyone saw in the knight’s shield. It’s funny that my answer mirrors what Nat would later tell me about Patrick’s feather hat that she and I were always joking about. What I wrote is typed up below:
“I see a man on a horse. He's wearing a feather cap and fancy clothing. To his right, sort of in front of him, is an old man wearing some type of a robe. Like a robe a clergyman would wear back then. There’s something in his hand, and I think it’s a large staff. All I know is that he takes it with him everywhere he goes.”
And I guess it’s kind of strange that I stumbled into this. I was looking at my scrapbooking stuff to make Mom’s Mother’s Day card when I decided to look through the kids’ last journal that I made years ago. (It was the only journal with my scrapbook stuff in my armoire, and I had copied and pasted that post into the journal back then).
Also, over the past couple days I said that I wish I had a spirit drawing of him, so I can show my family what he looks like. I guess this proves how LITERAL spirits are. I guess he's making due with the feather hat pic? Lol! I think it's funny. What I would love to have is a beautiful spirit drawing of Patrick himself, but I can see the humor in the timing of me stumbling into that old picture. I give him kudos for coming through in any way he can. Lol! He is persistent.
And close to a year ago I guess, I had a quick flash of him in my mind come out of nowhere. I had just put down my book to go to bed when - suddenly - there's Patrick's face in front of mine. It was very close-up and very vivid. His blond hair was unkempt and hanging a bit around his face, and his eyes and expression were VERY intense. I brushed it off at the time, but over this past week especially, it's been on my mind a lot. It's just so vivid and feels so... well, REAL. I can see him so clearly. It's just seeing his face, his eyes looking into mine. And I can't begin to describe the intensity in his features. I really do believe Mom was right in her automatic writing, when Patrick said I sometimes feared him. I think he was a quiet, yet very intense guy. I think there were many sides to him. I think all of his intensity - which was sooo thick - felt like too much for me to handle and be the recipient of at times. I don't doubt that he is/was a loving spirit, but I do think being with him wasn't exactly a cakewalk; not just b/c of what life throws at a person, but because he was such a passionate man.
But I would give anything to have a nice drawing of that vision mentioned above. I don't have those flashes often, but this one has to be the most 'colorful' of the little bunch. It's just so clear and unmuddied. It's like looking at a photograph of him. It's almost "cartoonish" looking - if that makes sense. What I mean is it's very vivid.
Tried the cards. I asked how Patrick feels about (possibly) helping me write this book. I thought it interesting that the spread was all wands; Manifestation.
Page of Wands
Ace of Wands
8 of Wands
I just realized that in that AW Mom did a while back, Patrick said – “I will always find you.”
And later, in an evp, he said – “Becky… love to find you.”
The Granite City
(September 19, 2007)
Now this is strange. A few days ago I was looking at a Scotland Webcam. It was in Aberdeen. About a year ago Patrick kept telling Mom something about “Granite.” She even saw granite cliffs over water, with a swan swimming in a loch. Over and over again was the word, “Granite.” She finally made me do a search online for “granite” and “Scotland.” What I found was that Aberdeen, Scotland is nicknamed “The Granite City.” Mom looked at pictures I had saved of Scotland, and it turned out that what she kept seeing in her minds eye was the landscape like in Aberdeen.
Well, while looking at the Aberdeen Scotland webcam the other night I realized that one of the webcams was in “Castlegate.” Coincidentally, “Castlegate” is a name I used in one of my stories!
But wait, there’s more. I almost wrote about that to my friend (not Nat, as we’re no longer friends) in an email the other day, but deleted it b/c she’s not really into the paranormal like I am. But get this… today I receive an email from her about a package she’s mailing to me. She told me that she keeps wishing she put more goodies in it. One of the things she mentioned was a piece of GRANITE, since she lives in “THE GRANITE STATE.” (New Hampshire).
So first I discover that Nat lives in Novia Scotia, translated as “New SCOTLAND,” and now this recent discovery with GRANITE; related to Scotland once again.
Maybe Patrick really was from Scotland.
(September 19, 2007)
We all have favorite movies which we can't get enough of. For me, it's movies where the lovers just cannot be together. Movies such as the ones below:
The Ghost and Mrs. Muir
The Phantom of the Opera
Out of Africa
Somewhere in Time
Anna and the King
Legends of the Fall
PS I Love You
The Thorn Birds
Camelot (Richard Harris on Broadway)
Romeo and Juliet (the older version)
Okay, so you get the picture. Also, as a child I had an obsession song. I used to beg my father all the time to sing Willie Nelson's "Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain," even though it made me cry.
Who knows? Maybe there's a deeper meaning for why I was so drawn to that song and those movies, even as a little girl. Is it Patrick-related? Don’t know.
Beauty & the Beast, King of Swords, a crown & roses
- I’m always making fun of the feather hat I’ve been told that Patrick likes to wear. But one day he came to Nat wearing a crown. She was also shown a piece of stained glass with a rose (the rose was part of the stained glass). She didn't see the whole piece - just a corner of it. She also saw a tarot card on top of the glass. It looked like the KING OF SWORDS.
Well… when I was talking to someone else who did a tarot reading for me… (just a general reading which wound up being about Patrick. They were on a Gerry Butler forum if ya can believe that. Lol!)… I mentioned how it’s been interesting trying to figure out Patrick’s personality over the years. I mentioned that I thought he was harsh-looking on the outside, but that he really is a quiet, kind person. A gentle soul, but at the same time perhaps very intense. (Like the Beast in the Disney cartoon actually. Lol!) I also mentioned how my mom said she thought that from a young age he was taught to detach from his emotions. Well, the lady replied back that that sounds like the KING OF SWORDS to a T. (King of Swords was one of the cards she pulled as well).
So I think Nat seeing the King of Swords card was a way for him to confirm that that’s what his personality is/was like.
- Remember when Mom did that automatic handwriting? Patrick mentioned:
“I loved you more than you loved me I think, for you sometimes feared me and you know you were most tender and kind to me, despite my crude ways. You were the flower. I was the thorn.”
That echoes Beauty and the Beast/Phantom of the Opera a lot; my top 2 obsession movies of all time. (Their stories are similar in a lot of ways, too). I also think Patrick’s personality was a lot like “The Phantom,” without all the erhm… stalking, killing innocent people, and living underground.